Hope is a foreign word to me
Fragile, like a refugee of a personal war.

Is this safe for you now?
Does it matter?
Anything is better then home.

No matter how much fire I place in my veins
It will not burn you out

It doesn't matter if I run across the country
Or if I try to stand completely still,
Pieces of you still surround me.

I am lonely in these sheets we once slept
Entangled and entwined in,
Your forgotten socks litter the rooms corners.

And though you say you feel nothing for me,
I couldn't help but lay in bed and check,
The pillow is smells like you do.

I am not what I look like.
I am not just the power you think
I carry deep beneath my skin.

I am beautiful, at healthy pounds.
I am smart, kind and broken hearted.
Like a rainbow of desire I cast.

If someone could just love me,
Without asking me to be something else.
Something fake, *****, not me.

I am worthwhile.
Help me, Hold me.
I would fight to the death for them

The black man stalks my dreams again.
With his oil spill eyes
And venomous smile
He speaks in tounges
And bent up promises.

He jokes, Call me Cain.
Adam Judas Satan Jesus
Gabriel ******* Whale.
I call him the Whale
For he has swallowed me whole.

He is the flood
and I am swept away debris.
He calls me Seven
(That *******)
One for every sin I've mastered.

Suspended animation
I am
The second before a kiss
The calm in the storm
The moment of silence
After lightning hits.
My heart beats loudly,
In my frail chest
I float away

"A" she says, a plea to pick up the phone,
Answer the **** message, your words feel like home.
And to her, those words, are priceless.

"A" says her pride, answer her call,
That letter is an essay, begging for a brawl,
But he would never, never answer her.

"A" she says again, as he lays down in sleep,
That word, a secret, she can never keep.
Here, she never will again.