This is for all the men
Who tell me I am beautiful
I can't hear you
Through all those years
Of being an ugly duckling
This is for my dog
Big blue eyes
My baby snugglebug
Sniffing for donuts
Chewing my hands in the morning
And the nail biters
And the chefs
Who lose fingers to the meatgrinders
And the farmers
Staking lives
On a drop of rain
I am vain
This is for the men
Who have faith
I am not the ****** Mary
Just another pretty face
Another lacy thong to take off
This is for the underwear makers
The firecrackers
This is for the characters
Who explode in the night sky
Like the fourth of July
And ordinary people
Are blinded by the colors
This is for the mothers
And the big brothers
And the Prozac poppers
This is for the bees that have stung me
I've eaten their honey
And my cakes would not taste
So sweet without it
This is for the surgeons
And musicians
And fishermen
For the men who have bought me dinner
And never seen a return
On their investment
This is for the beards
And chest hair
This is for my little sister
Who is finally growing up
The word "love" on her tongue
And this is for America:
Land of the free
Home of the mancave
Beauty is only as deep
As your mineral rights
The copper and coal mines of your eyes
Beauty flies as high as kite
Melts away like cotton candy
After a baseball game
This is for the men who called me beautiful
For all the beauty in the world
All the beautiful
This is for you

and for a moment there our hands almost touched

but I didn't know what to say
it was late and we were both drunk
the sky had been dark for hours
and everyone inside the house was loud and
I could barely hear myself think

and I wanted to tell you
so much it hurt my chest
and the ice unfolded in my stomach
and killed all the butterflies

but I knew you'd never think of me
that way and so we just sat
on the railing outside some kid's house

and I swallowed all the love I felt for you
bitter and writhing and alive in my throat

and stayed silent as the sun came up

this morning, at 3:17

I was laying on your chest

awake

listening to your heartbeat

and I realized that

it is no longer my favorite song

goodbye

That feeling is gone
The one I'd look forward to every time your fingertips touched my flesh
Laying on your couch

It wasn't the same

All that time I spent wondering where you were
Secretly longing to hear your laugh in the front seat of your car
I was haunted by those words you rarely spoke
Like a secret begging to flee from your mouth
"I love you"

That feeling is gone
That one I'd get by the taste of your lips
It would linger on me for days
You were all I could taste

That feeling of joy I'd get because you were so sweet
That feeling is gone
You were frightened I'd find the truth
Two years down our path I did
Now you trace my face with your gentle hands

It wasn't the same

That feeling I'd get when you look me in the eyes
Like we could live in that moment forver
That feeling is gone

I used to make you laugh
That familiar laugh that would play in my head for days
I imagine the past, then the future

It wasn't the same

I jump up whispering goodbye
As you drive away with that sorrowful sigh
I don't want to look back
All that time ago
On your comfy couch, somewhere lost in love

It isn't the same

it's amazing how much we talk
how many times a day
we let words and sounds escape
through our heavily filtered lips.

different people talk
in different ways, different voices
and with different meanings
some, meaning nothing at all.

it's amazing how much we talk
but I still find myself in awe
of just how little
we actually say.