I pray
                   
                     everyday


That I [haven't] met
                                           

                   ­                         You yet

Because

[if I have]


You are          
                                                              f­  a  i  l  i n  g



       to

                           S.P.A.R.K.

                                                        my interest

I would say that my heart aches for you

But Webster says to ache is to suffer from a cotinuous dull pain

The pain is continuous but it's far from dull

It's more like
A constant tingle in my toes, anxious to leap off the edge and fall with you
A rigidity in my muscles that keeps me from grabbing your waist and pulling you closer
A tossing and turning in my stomach, a stomach that doesn't understand if this feeling is reciprocated butterflies or unrequited nausea

It's more like a burning fire on my lips that can only be extinguished by the ice upon yours

baby, it's far from a dull feeling

The smell of the sweatshirt you left here that one time three years ago still lingers in my nose


Today I noticed your lips for the first time and their flawless shape
And oh, how soft they must be to touch
Your last words, no matter how redundant, ring in my ears
And my hand can still feel the grip of yours, even if the meeting was brief
I thought your pupils were dilated when I realized I couldn't find where your pupil ends and your iris begins
A rich brown I never noticed before

The defined jaw line stands as a reminder of
how much you've grown since the time you left your sweatshirt here
how much time has passed since we reached the fork of our relationship

                                                 when I went right

and you went left

and our paths began to divert in such opposite directions

why do I have
                                such a
                                                            desire

for something
                               so

                   **toxic

At  a music festival
Among sixty thousand others
I managed to spot you

We both knew the other
Would be here,
But figured there'd be
Too many people,
Too large of a crowd
And not enough cell phone
Service to go around,
To bother trying to find the other
Especially since we haven't spoken
Since, well,
                                           you know

      But here you are.

Eight rows of people ahead
Through the most perfectly spaced gap
I spot your face
Turned slightly to the right
Of where I am standing

I watch you laugh at what
A friend behind you said
You cut your hair
just the way I like it
And your smile still
Makes me go weak at the knees

It's this moment that people write books about, paint pictures of, this moment filmmakers write whole screenplays revolving around

Where two people make eye contact from across a crowd, and instantly the spark is ignited, or reignited, and their fate is written, the opening to their love story that, without their control, is set in stone, perfectly planned out stepping stones that lead to happily ever after

But you never turned my way
And we never made eye contact
And my text that said
I see you! :)
Didn't go through until
Hours later

I guess this wasn't our moment.  
                                 our relapse
                                 our love story.

                                                         I guess this means
                                                         we really are not
                                                  m  e  a  n  t   t  o   b  e