My depression is like being dropped into the middle of the ocean.
The water is cold and unforgiving.
The tide threatening to pull you under just as you catch your breath.
My depression feels like being lost in the dark and knowing no one is looking for you.
All you feel is nothing.
Someone or something has stolen all those things that bring you happiness.
You try and try to find them but then you start to wonder if you ever deserved them in the first place.
My depression feels like my heart being crushed and falling into complete despair.
My depression is lying in bed and forcing myself to sleep so I can dodge my suicidal thoughts.
My depression has been part of my life for so long I can’t remember when it first started.
And my depression lingers around every dark corner waiting for opportunity to knock me down again
My depression is not just something in my head and it’s not my choice
My depression is suffocating every time I put on a smile.
Forcing myself to seem happy because I don’t want to seem broken to the people who count on me
My depression is not something I wish upon anyone;
and it is welcoming pain because that would mean feeling something.
And I haven’t felt anything real in a long time.
There is a relentless voice in my head that reminds me of every shortcoming in my life.
It’s like my worst enemy lives in my head and she knows all my secrets
At some point I forget not to give in
and the numbness kicks in
Staring at everything and nothing while my reality crumbles around me
Wanting to get help but feeling like there may never really be a solution
Scared that you will be misunderstood or cast away for your imperfections
But like an octopus, I use every bit of myself to hold it together, like trying to hold a puzzle together in mid air
I don’t have depression; depression has me.
It has me so deep in its grasp that there is no disconnect.
The octopus holding my happiness together is also the one thing keeping my depression to me like a second skin or a shadow.
As I turn my face to the light I can feel the darkness crawling on my back, trying to extinguish my flame
But then I feel the warmth on my face, the wind in my hair, my heart pounding in my chest and I remember.
My depression is a liar.
But, a good one.
I keep my light close to my heart and shine it on all those around me.
I recognize sadness in others and putting a smile on their face seems to heal me.
Sadness needs more days off, so let’s turn our faces towards the light.
Shine on!
Mar 13
Mar 13, 2026 at 9:14 AM UTC
My depression is like being dropped into the middle of the ocean.
The water is cold and unforgiving.
The tide threatening to pull you under just as you catch your breath.
My depression feels like being lost in the dark and knowing no one is looking for you.
All you feel is nothing.
Someone or something has stolen all those things that bring you happiness.
You try and try to find them but then you start to wonder if you ever deserved them in the first place.
My depression feels like my heart being crushed and falling into complete despair.
My depression is lying in bed and forcing myself to sleep so I can dodge my suicidal thoughts.
My depression has been part of my life for so long I can’t remember when it first started.
And my depression lingers around every dark corner waiting for opportunity to knock me down again
My depression is not just something in my head and it’s not my choice
My depression is suffocating every time I put on a smile.
Forcing myself to seem happy because I don’t want to seem broken to the people who count on me
My depression is not something I wish upon anyone;
and it is welcoming pain because that would mean feeling something.
And I haven’t felt anything real in a long time.
There is a relentless voice in my head that reminds me of every shortcoming in my life.
It’s like my worst enemy lives in my head and she knows all my secrets
At some point I forget not to give in
and the numbness kicks in
Staring at everything and nothing while my reality crumbles around me
Wanting to get help but feeling like there may never really be a solution
Scared that you will be misunderstood or cast away for your imperfections
But like an octopus, I use every bit of myself to hold it together, like trying to hold a puzzle together in mid air
I don’t have depression; depression has me.
It has me so deep in its grasp that there is no disconnect.
The octopus holding my happiness together is also the one thing keeping my depression to me like a second skin or a shadow.
As I turn my face to the light I can feel the darkness crawling on my back, trying to extinguish my flame
But then I feel the warmth on my face, the wind in my hair, my heart pounding in my chest and I remember.
My depression is a liar.
But, a good one.
I keep my light close to my heart and shine it on all those around me.
I recognize sadness in others and putting a smile on their face seems to heal me.
Sadness needs more days off, so let’s turn our faces towards the light.
Shine on!