Perhaps evaporating my tears
to become a mere lifeless cloud,
drifting away like a truth I shy away from,
will free me from the cage that traps
My dignity. My soul. My life.
So I’ll be a bit happier.
Perhaps shrinking myself,
Reducing myself to sick opinions, comments, words
That stab me a little each time
Will save me from
My own dangerous thoughts,
So I’ll be a bit happier.
Perhaps shoving things down my throat
Knowingly, willingly, desperately
Will remove the guilt that’s buried
Deep in my mind
Scarring my stomach and thighs
Making me just broken bones. No flesh.
So I’ll be a bit happier.
Perhaps reaching out for that green lighter
Just once more
OnCe,
ONCE more
Will satisfy my cravings for pain,
So I’ll be happier?