Happy Fckn Birthday Boy
It’s my Birthday,
the Moon is full,
I’m all alone,
somewhere in Thailand,
what am I doing,
how has my Life come to this,
most people think I have it good,
and I do but I’m still depressed,
I suppose the definition of success depends on perspective,
headed in an unknown direction without any directive,
plus I’m a ship minus a captain and a sentence without a subject,
what’s left,
right here where I lie,
or rather lay,
because I would never lie to you,
at least not in this way,
it’s my Birthday,
the Moon is full,
I’m all alone,
somewhere in Thailand,
wondering what there is left to celebrate,
I was already made an internationally known writer months ago,
that Moment has passed,
now I’m here trying to keep it together all alone,
it's my Birthday but I'm not present,
it's my Birthday but there are no presents,
it's my Birthday so I'll cry if I want to,
it's my Birthday "Happy Fckn Birthday", yeah what the fck is it to you,
a hundred people have messaged me,
wishing me a “Happy Birthday”,
and the only thing I want to reply with,
is “Could you be any more generic and cliche?”
Come on,
is that what our friendship is worth,
10 seconds out of your day,
and a few over used words,
I mean really,
I’m a poet and anyone that knows me or of me knows this,
so why when they write me,
wouldn’t they at least try to be at least a little more creative,
Jesus,
I feel so alone,
I go out and meet people,
but they are usually so uninspiring,
all they want to do is drink poisons and talk about nonsense,
& all I want to do is ask them how their pointless lives are applicable to me at all,
alcohol and cigarettes,
*** that’s just promiscuous,
doesn’t anyone make love anymore?
No not here,
this is not a place for connection,
this is a place for superficial feelings,
and unruly heathens with no direction,
I suppose the definition of success depends on perspective,
headed in an unknown direction without any directive,
plus I’m a ship minus a captain and a sentence without a subject,
what’s left,
right here where I lie,
or rather lay,
because I would never lie to you,
at least not in this way,
it’s my Birthday,
the Moon is full,
I’m all alone,
somewhere in Thailand,
brought my parents together for the first time in my life,
observed them over the table at dinner they acted as awkward as I,
I wanted to tell them I am their only Son and I love them,
but I said nothing I just sat there and watched them passively fight,
no birthday candles to light,
no wish to make when I close my eyes,
no party no dancing,
just me alone under the full Moon's light,
but if I had a wish it would be this,
I wish I knew a way to heal us all,
I wish I knew a way to give everyone the love they need,
I wish I knew a way to tell you it all,
I wish I knew a way to make us new and free from our own insecurities,
met a girl tonight,
she said she was an alcoholic,
said she met a guy with Aspergers,
and that they went out together and she blacked out,
she said she liked the guy she met,
but she wasn't sure because of his condition,
I told her we're all a bit crazy in our own way,
and she shouldn't let a bit of crazy affect her decisions,
then I left her how I'd found her,
I was bored and it was time for me to go,
because I found her like I find most people,
which is totally uninspiring I told you before,
all they want to do is drink poisons and talk about nonsense,
& all I want to do is ask them how their pointless lives are applicable to me at all,
alcohol and cigarettes,
*** that’s just promiscuous,
doesn’t anyone make love anymore?
Anyways,
it’s my Birthday,
the Moon is full,
I’m all alone,
somewhere in Thailand...
October 15th, 2016
∆ Aaron LA Lux ∆