It’s gotten so bad
that I don’t find comfort
In writing.
I don’t want to write
about how I’m feeling
and have complete strangers tell
me they understand
because it
shouldn’t be hard for me
to understand myself or for
family
or my so called friends
but all I hear
is an echo
of i don’t know what to say
or what to do
or it’ll get better.
For who?
For me who’s suffering
or for the people who caused me to suffer
because they no longer have me in
their lives.
Yeah I guess
it did get better for them
I’m glad all the hours i sit in the dark
all the days i don’t come out of my room
the weeks I don’t leave the house are sighs of relief to you while
I choke on the tears that form a lump in my throat and no matter how
many times i try to swallow it
It won’t go away.
It cuts up my vocal cords
so all that is left are blank eyes
On a ghost white face
With dark circles that I fall into
at night instead of sleeping.
In a body that wants to disappear
and mind that wants to destroy itself
-3/29/18
Apr 3, 2018
Apr 3, 2018 at 4:43 PM UTC
It’s gotten so bad
that I don’t find comfort
In writing.
I don’t want to write
about how I’m feeling
and have complete strangers tell
me they understand
because it
shouldn’t be hard for me
to understand myself or for
family
or my so called friends
but all I hear
is an echo
of i don’t know what to say
or what to do
or it’ll get better.
For who?
For me who’s suffering
or for the people who caused me to suffer
because they no longer have me in
their lives.
Yeah I guess
it did get better for them
I’m glad all the hours i sit in the dark
all the days i don’t come out of my room
the weeks I don’t leave the house are sighs of relief to you while
I choke on the tears that form a lump in my throat and no matter how
many times i try to swallow it
It won’t go away.
It cuts up my vocal cords
so all that is left are blank eyes
On a ghost white face
With dark circles that I fall into
at night instead of sleeping.
In a body that wants to disappear
and mind that wants to destroy itself
-3/29/18
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