A little green dot means so much more
than the fact that you are online.
It brings back our first conversations,
hours of struggling to type each word
but I fought my broken phone anyway
and you waited patiently.
We would sit at work and talk
send gifs of porn and ache,
yearn to see each other again
and we couldn't wait.
You stripped me of every defense,
and most of my clothes, so quickly
I didn't have time to think not to
and I'm glad I didn't.
I never sat and talked to someone,
touched someone in simple ways,
become so familiar with them
and I got afraid.
I see that green dot and I want,
want to send you dirty pics,
want to apologize, want to cry,
want to just talk again.
I see that green dot by your name,
and yes, I think of that short period
of something never meant to be,
but only because a fresh wound stings.
I see that green dot and I want,
I want to feel that way again.
But it won't be with you.
And I'm okay with that.
Mostly