#emptiness
The yellow sun upon the transparent sea is a sight I have never seen.
The cool breeze dancing over the waves is another sight I have never seen.
But poverty, hunger, sadness, betrayal, and pain-—
those are sights that have never left my eyes.
5d ago
May 30, 2026 at 11:00 AM UTC
I live for a life I don’t really like.
There is nothing in particular bad about it,
but I am.
I am not worthy of living.
I can’t see the beauty in it,
The colors are gray, my heart is empty.
I am willing to be.I am willing to work,
to play my part.
But deep down, I don’t feel the passion for lifeeveryone is talking about.
For me Everything just feels numb
I don’t want to die —at least I think so.
But living doesn’t seem right for me.
I don’t care about my existence.
I don’t care if I’ll be part of the next day.
I’m not planning on living past 20 anyway.
Everyone says I should look out for my future,
but grown-ups seem more interestedin what will happen to me
I could ever be.
I don’t see the importance of a long life.
Why live if I don’t feel like it?
When I’m mentally in pain every day.
Why work hard for a futureI’ll never be part of?
Why care for a body
i cut open at night?
Why take interest in what people sayif none of them will visit my grave?
May 27
May 27, 2026 at 3:46 PM UTC
That song only hurts when I think about you, just falling apart feeling so sad and blue, I was in love I didn't have a clue, but when I summed it all up it fell right back on you, When I hear the song lyrics I just wanted to cry, remembering how you left me I just wanted to die, but now I'm over you I Am finally free, living my life and in control of my Liberty,
I really did love you, but you just didn't see,
We had our differences and you just up and fleed, I'm solo, unattached and I can just be me!!!
B.R.
Date: 5/25/2026
May 25
May 25, 2026 at 12:51 PM UTC
Each time I'm without you,
My thoughts wander,
My heart throbs in pain,
My stomach eats itself,
My body can't seem to be still.
However,
It seems you're the cure
and
You're the poison
You say it's not serious,
You say it's satire,
You say it's okay.
It's not okay.
My thoughts wander.
My heart throbs in pain.
My stomach eats itself.
My body can't seem to be still.
May 22
May 22, 2026 at 9:05 PM UTC
I'm not sure when I got cold
Not sure when my pulse stopped
Not sure when I stopped thinking
Somehow, I never saw myself dying
till it was too late.
I still walk
I still talk
I still work
I still lurk
I died,
but cannot leave my punishment
Date of death: unknown
May 20
May 20, 2026 at 10:22 PM UTC
I'm tired.
Tired of holding my hands,
Hands that have seen my dark cold blood.
I'm tired.
Tired of putting on interludes.
Interludes that I wish, I was a part of.
I'm tired.
Tired of me
May 14
May 14, 2026 at 1:09 AM UTC
i couldn’t hold your hand; i am
the wonderful wind! that's incapable of getting back!
and i couldn’t speak to you; now i am
in my own boundless emptiness!
May 14
May 14, 2026 at 12:15 PM UTC
God, you heard me—didn’t you?
So why does it feel denied?
The only prayer I begged you for
came back stamped expired.
I’m stuck in this desert of almosts,
where love was never mine to keep—
God, I love him…
but love like this cuts too deep.
I’m not ready to leave this town,
not ready to bury what felt so real—
everything’s collapsing inward now…
and I don’t know how to feel.
May 6
May 6, 2026 at 12:34 AM UTC
there is a sponge in my chest
and it never wrings itself out
they pour into me without thinking
anger, sorrow, happiness
like I’m just somewhere to leave things
it sits inside me
and doesn’t leave room for me
when I try to speak
it comes out in a borrowed shape
nothing is clean
nothing is mine
and I can’t tell anymore
what was mine
or if anything was
which water was mine to spill
and whose was meant for someone else to drink
but even sponges don’t own what they hold
May 4
May 4, 2026 at 1:56 PM UTC
I have felt unfamiliar hands
Traveled around my body
Different flavors of lips
Explored forbidden areas
From silk sheets to hotel beds
A new pair of arms every week
A new level of boundary pushed
From amber eyes to ocean-blue stares
Basking in euphoria and desires
Hungover with regrets and emptiness
A gluttony for pleasures and ego
But a restless yearning for more
The same hollow flirtations
The same predictable outcome
My body has been fulfilled and more
Marked with bites and forgetful names
Yet the piling bodies and numbers
Cannot fill the hole I have
This pathetic pain and yearning
For a touch that has been long gone
The sense of abandonment lingers
That no lipstick can kiss it away
I have consumed so many hearts
Yet my aches cannot be satisfied
Another night of boosted ego
Pet names after pet names
Yet the one name I am yearning for
Is to be called Yours again
May 1
May 1, 2026 at 11:54 AM UTC
Empty Is Not My Name:
Empty is not my name
Though her scorching numbness
seeps throughout my mind
And though her reaching tendrils choke me
The aching hollowness subsides
In your blinding presence
If only for a while
Just last week you played a song
And sweet droplets and notes fell on our ***** kitchen floor
Just last night we shoveled snow in the dark
Illuminated yellow shovels scraping the icy concrete
You let me sing softly and high
And the melody fell fragile and crystalline
On gleaming brittle snow
Accompanied by scraping on ice and deafening quiet
The notes were lost in the silence
With only the you and the moon as my witness
Just yesterday you sat on my right and pressed your shoulder into mine
And you whispered in my ear “are you okay”
And I wasn't
But I will be
And maybe empty is my name
But slowly you will fill me
Dec 9, 2025
Dec 9, 2025 at 5:25 PM UTC
Bell sighs, ding-dong.
Adrenaline of my exam dies.
Fingers cry, holding pen so long.
Straight to home, I want to be alone.
Behind, I leave the strangers all along.
So much chatter,
Beautiful faces, styles, and flair
Lips glossy, happy eyes,
Smiling hair,blonde and dyed.
I want to leave,
Don’t want to feel.
The space between the puzzles of my heart
shakes and refills.
Finally home, yet I don’t know where I belong.
Running faster, I got blisters.
Staying without class update is danger,
Login to my messenger, where discomfort lingers.
Class group chatters in loop,
Photos float on my screen.
Beauty smiles, happiness so keen.
Big restaurant ,their today never acted mean.
Pizza slices all together,
Coke cups are laughing,
Making memories, weaving new college stories.
I am hooked in a painful puzzle game.
Happiness makes excuses so lame.
Why does my heart feel something I can’t name?
In this mismatched world, I am the extra puzzle piece.
Everything attached ,that’s why overlooked and missed.
No one stands when I watch rain,
No worries when my heart pours pain.
Paper remains, words get drenched
by the flood of my lens.
Book of memories ,no entry.
Only pain made poetry.
Forgotten plates sit still in my pantry.
Not lonely, just greedy.
How they get to keep the filling memory jar?
New woven stories, but mine is empty so far.
Extra piece of puzzle,
No space to fit in.
My jar lies untouched, drenched in pain.
Lost, remaining, nothing gained.
Night heavy, only baby whispers
to the universal puzzle maker.
Apr 21
Apr 21, 2026 at 3:10 PM UTC
Colours are uncalled for today,
Today I would rather
Black, grey, white.
Noise I don’t need today,
Drowning in the emptiness
In which I reside.
(Original version is in Dutch)
Kleuren zijn niet nodig vandaag,
Vandaag heb ik liever
Zwart, grijs, wit.
Geluid heb ik niet nodig vandaag,
Verdrinkend in de leegte waarin ik zit.
Apr 15
Apr 15, 2026 at 5:06 AM UTC
She was eighteen–
all sunlight and soft belief,
and love arrived too early,
wearing a face nine years older.
She carried her heart in open hands,
offering it again and again,
only to be told
she was too young to be taken seriously,
too young to be chosen.
But her dreams were not childish–
they were tender, human things:
a kiss, a home,
a future whispered in his name.
Then one day,
without warning,
he built that future
with someone else.
And she mourned
like something had died
that no one knew was alive.
Years passed,
but memory has a cruel way
of breathing long after hope stops.
He returned–
with children in his arms
and emptiness in his voice,
asking her to fill spaces
never meant for her.
And because love had lived in her
longer than pride ever could,
she said yes
to being almost chosen.
She learned the warmth of his embrace,
the softness of a first kiss,
the ache of knowing
it did not mean the same to him.
Jealousy grew quietly–
not loud, not wild–
but like a vine around her ribs
each time he spoke of his wife.
She knew,
somewhere beneath the longing,
that she was a place he visited
when loneliness knocked at his door.
So she stepped away,
leaving with a heart
that felt both empty
and still unbearably full.
She tried to forget him
in the arms of a stranger,
married a life
her soul could not recognize.
And in quiet nights,
when the world slept,
she would wonder why love
refused to move on
just because time did.
Why does the heart stay loyal
to a dream
long after the dream
has forgotten you?
He drifts in and out of her life still–
a familiar ghost,
stirring old feelings
with careless words.
And she remains,
not foolish, not mad–
just a woman
who loved deeply once,
and never learned
how to love that way again.
Where do you place a love
that was never allowed to live,
never allowed to die?
Perhaps it stays here–
in the quiet spaces of her chest,
where dreams go to wait,
and never quite leave.
♡ lil-usagi
Mar 26
Mar 26, 2026 at 7:51 AM UTC
We all have to move forward in our life,
Leaving empty our place where we used to dwell.
Like from newborn to 1 year,
Childhood to teens and Adulthood by losing fear .
But What happens in Old Age?
At the end, what we are left with;
EMPTINESS....
EMPTINESS....
EMPTINESS....
Mar 20
Mar 20, 2026 at 11:42 AM UTC
I often sit in the pouring rain
I seldom feel free from pain.
Emotions crashing tsunami now
cascade upon me then I drown.
Emotional state in disarray
I have felt happy, but it rarely stayed.
Fleeting only just for a moment
the next thing I know, again I'm broken.
Oh what I would give for some reprieve.
I'd give anything to not be me.
Can't I just be someone else?
I just cant get along with myself.
If I could change though,
to someone new
I wonder, would that girl hate herself too?
Maybe my soul is the thing thats bad
maybe its not my mind going mad.
But if it truly is my soul corrupt
then I have no choice, but simply to give up.
Mar 10
Mar 10, 2026 at 3:05 AM UTC
The empty space in my chest mocks me when I try to fill it up again.
Friends….movies…pain..
Nothing works.
Every meaningless action just echoes off of the walls,
Each sound getting quieter and quieter until it never there at all.
I never knew that nothingness could hurt so much. Isn’t nothing supposed to not feel like anything?
Isn’t numbness supposed to feel like nothing?
Instead I just feel the hollow space of where things should be
Of the things I should feel..
And that emptiness…
As
It
Echoes
Through the
Abyss…
Hurts more than the blades that cut through my skin.
Mar 5
Mar 5, 2026 at 3:27 AM UTC
My existence feels like a crime,
cosplaying the best version of me
with a ridiculous smile.
That me is not me.
But for heaps of flowers and praise,
I might as well go on
with my finest kind of lie.
But with all those spotlights
where others seem to drown,
I’m told to reach so far,
to chase the blinding light,
to prove I can burn beneath it.
That’s what I find among all,
my dearest kind of dream.
But when I’m out of sight,
when I’m not not me,
just me, me, me—
no costumes to wear,
no light to burn—
the lowest part of me
holds neither a dream
nor a lie.
Feb 26
Feb 26, 2026 at 3:24 PM UTC
A cake, a party, good news—
that won't work.
Chatting, talking to him—
that won't work.
He is sad, bored of life.
He wants nothing,
and for that reason
he feels no reward.
How can he be happy?
How can he enjoy life
and all of its good things?
How can he?
He can't.
Right now, he is depressed.
Why?
We don't know.
Until when?
We don't know.
Since when?
We think that it has been four months—
he feels like it has been since he was born.
So we don't know.
The only thing we know
is that he is sad.
Really sad.
Deeply, truly, terribly sad.
Feb 23
Feb 23, 2026 at 1:38 PM UTC
When you're sitting in your room with a cigarette in your mouth,
Listening to those deep, sad songs,
Some people call this emptiness.
People sometimes make sadness and emptiness the same thing.
But actually, emptiness is something way more complex.
You're in the park, watching a happy couple walking hand in hand,
Yet you don't feel anything.
You're with your friends at a party, laughing and talking,
But inside, you don't feel anything.
You're in your room.
Suddenly, you get a text saying your best friend died.
But inside, you feel nothing
No sorrow, no anger,
Literally nothing.
That's emptiness.
Feb 21
Feb 21, 2026 at 10:49 PM UTC
It started as a coal inside my chest,
a whisper saying I was owed it all.
I fed it hurt and called the burning rest.
Each slight replayed would never let me rest,
I built my throne against an unseen wall;
it started as a coal inside my chest.
I kept each word that failed some private test,
forgiveness paced but never could recall.
I fed it hurt and called the burning rest.
The nights grew long; sleep would not be my guest,
my voice turned iron every time I’d call;
it started as a coal inside my chest.
I pushed away the hands that knew me best,
their faces fading in a narrowing hall;
I fed it hurt and called the burning rest.
At last I stood an empty, cooling crest,
no soul remained to answer when I’d fall.
It started as a coal inside my chest,
I fed it hurt and called the burning rest.
Feb 17
Feb 17, 2026 at 1:35 PM UTC
Mind like an ocean
Full of empty spaces
Yet filled
with exotics
and colors
of all kinds
and varieties
Depths
of daunting darknesses
Devilish uncertainties
–likely
Godlike unknowns
–maybe
Feb 13
Feb 13, 2026 at 12:32 PM UTC
You know I'm good at letting people go
I'd fight for you and I'd cry, but I was here before
It's kind of empty, the space is suffocating, I choke
But I've been here before, I've been here I know
I'm seeking comfort on those horoscope sites
I'm letting everything pass me by
But healing is slow, it's like hitting a wall
And you're imprisoned by your own mind
I read Eliot's eyes that last I saw in tears
It's my affliction too, I shall not be
And the words set the rhythm for my blood
At all times, at all costs.
Feb 13
Feb 13, 2026 at 11:38 AM UTC
What I love about the snow
Is that it allows things to exist
Just for a few moments
Before it fades away into the white
So I whispered your name that night
And in that small moment
We existed again
We laughed again
We loved again
Until it was time
For the winds to silence my cries
And once again
We faded away into the white
Dec 1, 2025
Dec 1, 2025 at 3:25 PM UTC