A Lonely Soul, The Loneliest of Them All
by parker-blackwood
It's the type of loneliness that weighs on your chest
Clinching your lungs
Draining your heart
Stuffing your brain
Freeing wasps in your stomach
Where you love your family but you'd be fine without them
You like your friends but chose to reject any contact
You long for complete isolation
And avoid any chance of human interactions
Where you feel so, so alone, you create imaginary friends like a child
Just to preserve your sanity
Trust me, when you lose them
You lose yourself
Its when you feel so afraid and confused and sad and in pain
Because if it's just you
You know you will fail
Fear of the hopeless
Confusion of the actions
Sadness of the loss
Pain of the emptiness, being the castaway no one really wants
Never really wanted
The crying is the worst part
Everything that makes you cry is in your head
Silent and exaggerated
For your lungs fail to function correctly
The tears keep falling and your nose keeps running
Mind races and you curl up in a ball
In your closet
With no light
Blind
Because sometimes its hard to open your eyes to life
It hurts to see all it's evil and so little good
Its the closest thing to that place between being awake and falling asleep
Or maybe between this world and eternity
Loneliness makes you want to be more alone
Its tricky like that
All you need is one person
I have around ten
But you can't see them
And I still feel the deepest kind of lonely
Just one person could save you
Someone to comfort me
To share the load
To laugh with
To love me
To care
But that is bullshit
Nobody could want to be that for me
Because I'm a broken, unfixable, pathetic, and hopeless person
And they know, as well as I do,
There is no future for such a young, destroyed person
It's the type of loneliness where you see no future
No hope
And no reasons
To keep on going