it's quite
unfair
isn't it?
you're just used to this kind of thing already.
this isn't your first gig.
you've done this several times already.
you've liked someone before
you've flirted with someone before
you've been on dates before
you've kissed girls before
you've been with someone before
you've broken up with girls before
you've already done this before.
what about me?
this was my first gig and i can't help but
still think about it.
it's already been like
what?
almost
five months now
since we've happened.
how are you dealing with this?
knowing you
you've most likely already forgotten about it.
you're completely over it like you are with the other girls.
i can't say i hate you for it.
if anything, i commend you and i genuinely wish i could do
the same thing.
i'm still kinda stuck in limbo.
thinking about how you first kissed me in the movie theater.
it was dark
only the screen to illuminate us.
then you kissed me once
and asked for another afterwards.
you're a charmer, you know?
of course you do, your ego reminds you everyday.
maybe i should hate you because of that.
because of your overinflated ego.
but i can't.
i really can't.
why can't i?
i say i'm over it, but i'm here writing about it.
if only you broke up with me for something else.
something i could despise you for and instantly forget that
we
ever happened.
but that didn't happen.
you broke up with me for something reasonable.
and until now, you continue to stay with me and support me in my endeavors
and i tend to do the same.
like i owe it to you or something.
i do.
you've helped me through so much.
i just wish i could forget that
we
were ever really a thing.
it's revolting to just
constantly
be bombarded with the past
while you get to act like it never happened.
you're good at this, aren't you?
you've mastered
moving on.
while i'm left to deal with the remnants of something
that has long happened.
it's really just
unfair.