I still wonder about my presence
In your life and how it stung
When you disowned me.
You reach for things I will never
Know with you and your road is
One I look down but no longer
Am allowed to follow.
Where are you now that prematurely you have left me, just
As prematurely you were born at
Only 6 months in your mother's womb?
I could call myself your father but
You never called me dad. What makes a dad and what makes a father? Had I not found you 25 years after the fact,
Maybe you would have called me both.
When I think of you I am whole,
Broken man that I am. Still your name is tattooed on my arm and written on my very soul, the horizon seems to dusk instead of dawn.
You are free of me my child and I was never what you had hoped for. I was there and you are still here tiny in my hands, enormous in your presence.
Am I still there Amber? I speak to you because you are here haunting me,
Daughter mine.