i never had the chance to say goodbye.
i didn't even know she was going to leave
leave me here to deal with her problems.
it seemed selfish at the moment
incompetent
rude.
i couldn't understand the reason she left like this.
i couldn't comprehend it; i was frustrated.
why?
why'd she have to go without a word? why'd she leave as if to think i'd be okay with this?
it always brings me to tears just trying to remember her when
i can't.
i can't remember how she smiled
how she laughed
how she talked
how she used to be
before she became me.
the me i am now, today, and forever more.
the me that was influenced by those who are insufferable.
a selfish, ugly, good for nothing bastard who can barely hold herself together.
i want her to come back.
i want to be happy again.
but what's the point of wanting something that has already ceased to exist?