random day of the week.
I wake up,
sleep still in my eye.
Haven't noticed that I don't feel anything,
just tired.
Dusk starts to arrive, I feel angry.
No one except my father has made me disappointed,
I cried over past events.
My mood changes again,
I don't know how to describe the frequency.
I constantly ask my mother if she ever felt this way,
she replies that she can no longer remember,
nor had she noticed that she would snap at me.
Nighttime has arrived, I order pizza.
Attempt to bond with mother over a new
tv show,
she barely pays attention,
it hurts.
My father ignores me.
I enjoy the silence.
Noticing this new movie coming soon,
I ask a (friend) to join me,
I'm rejected with excuses of non-violence,
confusion of the plot and (ask a classmate).
I pretend it doesn't hurt,
it upsets me,
but I would be less upset if it wasn't pathetic excuses.
Am I angry because of excuses or rejection?
Am I disappointed because of my father's silence or my mother's two-second attention span?
I wish I could just bleed already so I could focus on the physical.