it's hard to believe anyone can love me with how you've left me.
to be considered once as lovable by you,
then to be drained and pushed away by you too,
made me realize...
was loving me hard?
or were you just too weak to see me for me?

i kid myself that i’m over you.
the truth is that i haven’t been thinking of you,
the truth is that i have moved on and accepted our fate.
but i know now since you’ve left me,
i will not be able to love the same again.
i will not be able to give my heart to anyone
until they prove to me that they’re worthy of holding me.

who can i blame?
i played the game.
but just for now…
i was wondering,
can you hold me down?

learning to love you was my mistake,
it was my mistake to break down my walls for you.
a liar, and a cheat - your legacy.
i won't seek for revenge for what you did
instead i'll replace you with peace.
eventually someone will put you in the position you've put me through.
i used to wish the best for you... but
i wish nothing more now than the worst.
life goes on and i will move on.
i hope you never do.

i like being alone with you.
doesn't matter if we're talking,
sitting in silence,
or just sleeping...
your presence comforts me in a way no other can.
you give me peace,
i feel at peace with you.
and i like who i am when i'm with you.
you help me grow as a person everyday,
you add on in my life

the reason i push back isn't because i don't want you around.
i hold back because i don't want to be a bother which is something i've felt like i was my whole life.
i don't know why my past keeps being used against me,
i just feel sad i feel like no one hears me.
i don't want people to feel sorry for me because feeling sorry for me won't make me any better.
i'm suffocating myself by getting into situations i shouldn't be going into, but i have the people who are bad for me there rather than the people in my life who should care about me and don't.
i'm just tired and want to go home,
but there is no home---
it's all in my head.

i told myself i'd move on once you did.
and you're in love now,
and i still think about you and what we used to be.
it's been three years.
i can't move on because i told you i'd never break our promises.
how was it so easy for you to break them?
when i'm still holding onto the memories of us?
i don't want you back though.
but i still love you.