learning to love you was my mistake,
it was my mistake to break down my walls for you.
a liar, and a cheat - your legacy.
i won't seek for revenge for what you did
instead i'll replace you with peace.
eventually someone will put you in the position you've put me through.
i used to wish the best for you... but
i wish nothing more now than the worst.
life goes on and i will move on.
i hope you never do.

i like being alone with you.
doesn't matter if we're talking,
sitting in silence,
or just sleeping...
your presence comforts me in a way no other can.
you give me peace,
i feel at peace with you.
and i like who i am when i'm with you.
you help me grow as a person everyday,
you add on in my life

the reason i push back isn't because i don't want you around.
i hold back because i don't want to be a bother which is something i've felt like i was my whole life.
i don't know why my past keeps being used against me,
i just feel sad i feel like no one hears me.
i don't want people to feel sorry for me because feeling sorry for me won't make me any better.
i'm suffocating myself by getting into situations i shouldn't be going into, but i have the people who are bad for me there rather than the people in my life who should care about me and don't.
i'm just tired and want to go home,
but there is no home---
it's all in my head.

i told myself i'd move on once you did.
and you're in love now,
and i still think about you and what we used to be.
it's been three years.
i can't move on because i told you i'd never break our promises.
how was it so easy for you to break them?
when i'm still holding onto the memories of us?
i don't want you back though.
but i still love you.

i'm not sure how it started.
maybe i was bored
or maybe i finally started getting guys to notice me.
the pictures, my way with words, my honesty--
that's what they loved most about me,
and i kept doing it.
until it became too much and i fell in love.
but it was fake.
i started over again and i repeated the same things,
only this time things were different;
the pictures became better, sluttier,
my way with words became more convincing,
and my honesty turned into lies.
and now the second guy is gone and i'm left with the others waiting for me to reply back to their messages.
i don't know if i want this anymore.
i don't know who i am.
i don't recognize myself.