Stark naked and vulnerable for another’s eyes
You see skin, bone and beating heart
While
Behind your eyes, I see the dark
                           *-lf-

I thought it would get easier as time passes
but every time your name leaves my mouth
I feel all the oxygen in my body leave with it
depleting my energy
ripping my throat to shreds as it makes its way

Your name --
It used to sound delicious on my lips
leaving me breathless
Now it's a different kind of breathless.
The kind that suffocates me
and laughs as I begin to choke.

I used to think it brilliant that you saw colours
when you heard my voice.
Now I wonder if the only colour you'd see is
that of darkness and hatred

                                     *-lf-

This is a ghost town,
filled with ex-lovers
and former friends.

Drowning in denial
Never to see one another
again.

This is a lost town,
where young hearts wander,
desperately clinging to their past.

We push and we pull
Pull and we push
But moments never last.

A forbidden town --
the town of my heart.
The town that closed its gates on you
As soon as we fell apart.

                         *-lf-

Love seems to be my greatest test;
both in its presence
and it's absence;
it breaches me ,
and tests my mettle.

Look what Love has reduced me to:
I've cried so much my eyes are dry
and screamed so much my voice is gone;
I've slept and eaten so little that my limbs shake,
and I feel nauseous constantly
but I can't seem to do anything about it.
I writhe in pure anguish
at the thought of you
and what you've done while I changed for us.
at at same time as I am comforted
by the thought of you
and what we've been through, for us.

Such ironic torment.

Maybe once I've moved on
you'll be ready
and I'll be gone.

**** my life.
All is asunder.
All is ruin.

All can begin anew, yet
All I yearn for is what I've had.

**** THIS ANGUISH.

she was my most loved rainy day--
on this day, as rain fell,
smoke rose above houses, engines whirled and honked, relinquishing fierce flames--
she passed like a hurricane with stronger winds than I had prepared for, knocking me down, cradling my head as I descended. if I was God every day would be torrential downpour, with me,
but everything good doesn't last,
even when you pray tears out of your blessed eyes.
until we are reunited, I await the next season.