Anger so deep
The journey so far
The pain so real
Pain so real that it makes time stands still
I am overwhelmed by my demons
I am forced to question the person am
I question why, just why I seemed to be far removed from this place
Dark cold and lonely pain is my new place.
By Oscar Harding

“Lying *******”
You dont get it
You never got it
Your dumb as ****
YOUR as thick as ****…
Your a lying *******
You, yes you, ******* your just ****!!!!
By: Oscar

“The Curve of Your Lips”

Lips that engrave their words on my heart.
Lips that enslave me with their grandeur.
Upper so tender, lower so exquisite…
Lips of love, Lips of fire.
when together they desire to be embraced.
Words your lips whisper, I long to hear
Just to see them near I wonder should i
Embrace And feel that fire……
By Oscar

“Shame , My Shame , Our Shame , Life Shame”
shame can and will hold you down, shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, I want to drag knives over my skin, life shame am I, am i, to blame, I want to drag knives over my skin, just to feel something other than shame, my knife blame and shame, Is my  death the only way this powerless person can find to make everybody else look their way  to share the shame

” ***** Face ”
Supposedly my face is the cause
Left over angry! Written on my face
*****, ***** resting on my face
They say my eyes glare out of their sockets …
with angyry eyes and dead pan ***** written on my face
And honestly this makes no sense
Are you mad?
Are you sad?
Are you okay?
Left over angyry written on my face
Look, I’m sorry if you’re offeneded.
Because the way my face naturally bends!
Please understand that I don’t mean
the expression, my resting ***** face
puts on for me,I went to bed upset
Wishing that I could just forget
My head just spun
As I lie in frustration
The tears kept coming
While I kept wishing
I could fall fast asleep
Yet I kept replaying the words that were said
As they consume my head
And then
I look in the mirror and seen that resting ***** written
On my face

“ Blood Stained Hands “
I cried for the truth and all I got was rain.
Sky so dark and heavy, blood stained rain.
I want peace, and I want love.
I want to break free.…
How much love did it take.
How much hate did it take.
I felt my heart break from my mind with the shake.
I cried for the truth.
Blood Stained Heart and Hands.

“ My loneliness is my Poverty.! ”
Lonely are the days.
Lonely is the seasons.
Lonely are the years.
Lonely I am, in so many ways.…
So very lonely, it brings me to tears.
Lonely is my judge.
Lonely is my court room.
Lonely is my sentence.
I am Loneliness.
I am lost, hope I find myself.
My loneliness is my poverty, and curse.
People think being alone makes you lonely, but that’s not true.
“Surrounded by the wrong person, is the loneliest place in the world.”

"Standing in my Self-loathing"
I feel my loneliness.
I feel my Anger.
I feel my Pain.
I feel my confusion.
I feel my Past, Present and Future.
All i see in you, is your disappointment in me.
by: Oscar

“Nightmares with my eyes open wide”
I am smiling.
Wish you could see me cry.
If only you could have seen that dead limp body in my arms!
If only your ears coul…d hear that cry.
My ears cry.
My eyes cry.
My heart cried.
My soul dying.
I killed purity.
I killed innocents.
Mummy loved me.
Daddy loved me.
And I was killed just the same!
Others could see what needed to be done.
No one wanted to ****! A dying soul!
A soul in pain.
A soul pleading with eyes that pierced to the bone.
I pretended to be blind as not to see, the pieces of what once was?
I pretended to be deaf as not wanting to here the cry’s of death!
No matter how I try.
No matter how hard I smile.
No matter how hard I laugh!
The sadness, the sadness.
Darkness still grows inside!

By Oscar Harding

“Family Drive”

you should of gone that way

Have you ever had one of those days

you won’t need a navigational system nor a GPS

just trust in your family , Family knows Best

No No Not that left

One wants you to go in one direction

and the other wants you to go in another.

Confused? You can get that way

No No Not that left

And now I gunna ignore them all

In fact, that is exactly what I had to do

No No Not that left

you should of gone that way

you won’t need a navigational system nor a GPS

just trust in your family , Family knows Best

By:Oscar Harding

“Candle wax and waning death of age”
Let me die a man's death.
Yet hope again lives, waning death on golden wings.
Manfully, fearlessly, death tiptoes closer.
Yet fear seems a long time past.
Yet I am not lost.
I am not afraid.
Yet I feel strong.
Life is too swift for those whom fear to live.
Life is too short  for those whom live life to grieve.
But for those whom love life, live life, except life.
Your time is now.
Death is but only a timeless sleep.
Yet hope lives and I am not afraid.
By Oscar

I am tormented.
I am cursed.
I am confused.
How, how did this happen!
Maybe the gods where sleeping, when I asked for you.
Maybe the angles where busy, when I begged for guidance,
If you had only herd my prayers, and I wish you had.
So for now me, pretend to be blind, so not to see you
I pretend to be deaf ,so not to hear  your cry’s of death.
No matter how I feel, the sadness and the darkness keeps groining inside!

My heart has
Different instructions
They are written
In my eyes
In my smile
In my actions
And in my tears
You just have to
Care enough to read  them.

My afternoon poem
By ANGEL

Daisies are the star's from Earth, that light the Blue fields of heaven.

“Dead flies or Window Currants”
Files with without buzz,
Cleared out with the breeze
Past the point of no return the window opened
Dark things, Crunchy things, Smudged things, …
Dead things, flies with no Buzz
By Oscar

“**** No More”!
I kept you close,
Now it’s time, you should be a ghost.
Escaping myself in that ****.
This new road is hard and long.…
That old road I took will be no more.
It’s time to change the way I lived and will live no more.
I have so much I want to give and life to live.
So for all of you who choose this path.
I wish you luck, it will be hard.
Day by day you will leave that sorrow.

By Oscar

“Pain in a Bottle”
I take the pain and lock it up and throw away the key.
Your words were my razor, your touch was my drug.
Why did you leave me here all alone?
Your looks were alcohol , your love was my blood. …
My pain so deep inside of me, that I can’t reverse.
Your eyes kept me going when I had nothing ……….
this you did not care to know…
If I take this pain out of the bottle, for you to see
all that will be there is the shell off the old me….

“We Killed Someone”
I pull my gun.
Happy as I **** someone.
I’m happy you see.
Happy that I fell in love.…
Happy that I can’t let go…
I’ve tried, I’ve tried. I’ve tried. I leave you alone.
I pull my gun.
Happy to **** someone.
That’s what you want. Isn’t??
Must be, your happy, just like me.
You killed my Heart, You killed someone
Happy to pull my gun………..

By: Oscar

“ I’ve Learnt about Sadness ”
I believe that if you haven't learnt about sadness……
You cannot will not, appreciate happiness.
The loneliness of the darkness in my soul,  anger, rage, fear, hate.
The deep, deep  abyss off sorrow ,darkness.
My soul wallows and finds comfort in this pit called loneliness.
Bad things do happen!!!!!!!!!
Bad things can happen !!!
Bad things will happen!!!!
How I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life.
I choose to rise from the pain.
I have the strength !!
Will I once again, treasure the most precious gift I have?????
“life itself”

“Family Drive”

you should of gone that way

Have you ever had one of those days

you won’t need a navigational system nor a GPS

just trust in your family , Family knows Best

No No Not that left

One wants you to go in one direction

and the other wants you to go in another.

Confused? You can get that way

No No Not that left

And now I gunna ignore them all

In fact, that is exactly what I had to do

No No Not that left

you should of gone that way

you won’t need a navigational system nor a GPS

just trust in your family , Family knows Best

By: Oscar

Written by kar blog


“Rain upon the desert”
Your gentle touch, worms like the 1st sunlight on a due laden blossom, on the 1st day of spring…
YOUR Like the breeze of springtime, caressing gently ‘across my soul……..
You cause my soul to blossom.
Igniting the flame of desire, that sets my heart aglow.…
No one else has ever filled my heart so…………
By: Oscar

“ The cold shoulder “
Your rotting corpse, laid in fetching damp earth,
No place to call your home, bad for your hearth.
I ****** it up for real, very few never shed no tears.
Forgotten rotten decaying in damp earth.
Before I had time to fade, you all already forgotten my NAME.
By Oscar

'Laughter lies & music stains'
In the hazed light of a smoke filled room full of dark light and laughter!
filled music, bathed in shallow lies and cries for the 'hear-after' drowned by all the fake smiles by the empty shells of the soulless bodies bearing thereWhite stained smiles filled, filled with fake and lies.
By Oscar

“You will Never Know”

I’ve been feeling lonely these past few days…
You will never now me.
Ill never tell you.…
Just lost and lonely…….
I don’t know what to do anymore.
I can’t stop but to think about you.
Part of me wants me to tell you how I feel for you.
I want to share you and how I feel with the world.
You will never know me , ill never share with you.
I just want to let it all out, without any regrets.
I cant let go.
All the pain I went through in the past.
It keeps telling me ,to keep it all to myself .
Stay sad and lonely.
so I wont get hurt again, I can’t decide what to do anymore.
It’s safe to stay lonely.
My heat can’t take any more , easy and safe be lonely….
You will never no me.
By Oscar

“@ ******* with my Mind”
Your smell smelled like no other.
The scent, ****** with my Mind.
When your scent walked by.
You took me to your bed.
It’s ******* with my head.
You’r Dead , Dead, Dead Dead.
Oh what bliss, @ ****** with my head.
When you walk by.
And no one's around.
It’s all in my head, when you walk by.
The scent
The scent, in my head.
Your Dead, Your Dead.
Oo nose of mine!
I’m not be smelling?
I miss your fragrance, when you walk by.
It's amazing!!!, your scent ,its amazing when you walk by.
I miss you
You’ll always be in my mind.
Your dead and your scent,won’t leave my mind.
By Oscar

Death is life's greatest mystery except from Life.
When my soul leaves & steals time.
Darker moments give way to moments of intense joy.
THAT IS LIFE!
stunned with grief.
I no longer need to fear arguments.
Death walks in my personal abyss.
Beyond Good and Evil.
I stand alone in the crowded space of time.
I fights with monsters.
I gaze in a mirrors.
By Oscar

What’s Next
Where’s that Rabbit?
Merry ****** Christmas, whether you like it or Not.
Our way of life is dying.
They are trying.
That what they won’t, us to think!
No ****** way.
Merry ****** Christmas, whether you like it or Not.
They won’t us to second guess Our Believes.
No ****** way.
Merry ****** Christmas, whether you like it or Not.
Stockings all hung by the warm by the BBQ Light.
Our boots were hung up.
The incense was lit.
Stockings hung and empty.
For Santa was late.
Yes, midnight had come.
Midnight had fled.
Then all of a sudden
A  silhouette began to appear
Far of in the Dark, up high in the sky
Music drew near,  surely weren't sleigh bells I heard from afar.
No, Santa had stopped to bash them ******* with a six pack of BEER.
Then all of a sudden the sky seemed to sparkle with magic.
“For Santa had won”
Merry Christmas

By Oscar

I felt, your Funeral in my Brain!
My mind is going numb, numb with pain.
Numb with joy.
I’m “ Back “ to darkness and to peace of mind.
I looked inside to view the damage that was done.
"I am Forever lost without my soul.
My body is numb
I am alone
It’s never Quite
Anger ,Hatred ,Betrayal
I felt, your Funeral in my Brain!
Your now alone.
I feel joy and I am lost.
I felt, your Funeral in my Brain!
By Oscar Harding 11/2018

So Lost
My vision short.
The journey far.
Too many, hills.
Time never stands still.
My LIFE so short.
Too many, valleys
Life so short
To many choices.
The journey  long.
My VISION is short.
The journey far.
My time, short.
So Lost and Time is short.
I am lost and my time running out.
By Oscar Harding

A tortured soul.
Just can’t, won't let it go.
It's hard to remember love.
Yet the memory is without thought!
My agony without  knowledge!
A tortured soul in this hell, a life my life without hope.
Now I can clearly see and see not at all.
Not able to move on, unable to let go, not able to say.
Holding back the deepest fear.
I go thru this alone.
For no one can truly know.
Just a ghost.
Shadow of my being, that once was.
Glimpses of what once could of being.
Left here so empty
Emotion.
I no longer shown.
Emotion.
Felt nor shared.
My outside is all you see.
A glimpse of what I use to be.
Alone.
Left here so empty.
Slowly I slip away.
Alone, a tortured soul , a heartless creation.
Yet I am lost without wandering
And alone in the crowd.
By Oscar

“Worries etched in despairs Blood”

My winged and wounded soul.
My shadow drawn back.
I walked on clinging to memories of lost desire.
Beyond desire I walked on lost souls.
In the shadows of my own abyss.
I smell and hear desire.
I smell and feel lost souls.
The sweet voices of faith, that I have lost.
My Edge Of Despair.
My Stomach Knotting.
That empty Feeling that won’t go away.
Yet I am afraid to act.
Yet terrified to Live or Die.
I merged and despaired.
I am lost.
Yet I am here.
Blood stained memories.
My worries etched in despairs.
By Oscar

“Weakness and Pain”
Dredge through your dark mind and Scroll down that yellow weak spine, like a sick and twisted dream you share you weakness through your every word and thought and  the expressions on your face. You are ugly on the inside out, you are unique, you are pathetic and weak, who’s to say what’s sane? In The world inside my brain It almost feels like a memory of pain, am I just weak or insane.
By  Oscar Harding

“Truth, Lies”!
Truth you can shut it out for a time, but it ain't goin' away.
No desire to speak
No desire to forget
No desire to sleep
Your cries cannot be heard nor your action felt.
For you have broken me!
No desire to speak
No desire to forget
No desire to sleep
You feel no remorse.
You feel no shame.
No blame.
No pain.
I am still drowning from the 1st time I trusted you.
Never  forgotten.
I trusted.
I lost.
By Oscar

I’m am still here
I’m all around

Remember in summer
I’ll be the sun, kissing you face at 1st light

Remember at Night
I’ll be the shining Star winking and smiling at you, all through the night

Remember in winter
I’ll be the snowflake that kisses your nose
And
I’ll be  the frost that nips your finger and toes.

I am still here
I’m here all around

In loving memory of
Corrina Rose Green
1st Oct 2002 – 1st Feb 2020
By Oscar Harding