Pure sunshine on a stick
Playing Dress-up karaoke to Hilary duff
Ballet classes and birthday parties
You were only a day older than me

Childhood friends, you and me,
Chasing boys on the playground
Watching the wizard of oz
Southern roots we shared
Growing up in the Atlanta sunny weather

We parted after pre-school,
But we’d see each other here and there
It’s tough to see you here now,
why did they have to do an open-casket?
You don’t even look like you.

I see your college friends look at you and break.
I lose it
my hands shake, the tears come,
I don’t know what else to do,
But hug your mom.
I will never understand, I will never understand, I will never understand
Why your heart would just stop working

They’d always say,
Miss Caroline’s just pure sunshine on a stick!
God it was so true

Golden curly locks and big blue eyes
Your smile was contagious

You didn’t get to experience life fully
But the lives you touched,
The memories I and many others hold
let your soul be reborn.

you don't have to explain your worth to me
you see me as I am and not what I used to be
remember when we'd cry in the middle school bathroom?
sharing scars, we'd make ourselves bleed
it was chorus class I forgot to unroll my sleeves
and my friend saw it and stared at me, please,
please know everything is okay but I'm just a little lost
out of touch with what's around me, don't think I'm soft
but you, you are so much more
I don't want your heart to be sore
why is it that I don't even know who I'm talking to
you're my imagination, my muse, my core
you're the reason I shake and tremble,
you're the reason I have these thoughts
you're the reason these words have let me unwind, sometimes rot
but you always come and go and arrive unannounced
I always kind of want to keep you, but you always bounce.

Oh childhood friend,
What has this world done?
You were only a day older than me,
So we’d celebrate our birthdays together
And laugh and play in the Atlanta sunny weather

Oh childhood friend,
Your heart just stopped working
And there’s no explanation
To why it suddenly started hurting
But you were sunshine on a stick,
Flowers in bloom.

Caroline,
The birds sing for you today,
I’ll see you soon,
In another way.

Your smile
                
         is a slight breeze
                                        
                     on a beautiful,
                                                                  
                             sunny, summer day.

                                                             But oh,
              
                                                                    your mind
                            
                                                                                  is much,
                                          
                                                                                        much more.

You told me I have a healthy brain
I loved that you thought I was sane
but I fight with myself a lot sometimes too
about life, about people, about the rain
I know most of the time,
I have a good head on my shoulders,
but it's nights like these
that I'm being crushed by anxiety boulders
I overthink until I hypervenalate
I focus on the bad, I complicate
I worry about breaking down,
and having to pick up the pieces alone
again, and again, and again
and I worry once you find this out--
these flaws of mine, you will treat me differently,
and somehow that's the worst of it all.
Would you tell me then, do I still have a healthy brain?

I had my first dream about you
and that's when I knew I was doomed
because usually I don't remember my dreams
and you don't dream of me, I presume.

I knew I was doomed from my dream
because it showed me that I don't trust you
and though I want to, my guard is up
ugh the feelings are ******* cobalt blue

I really had been fine up until our last session
but when you showed emotion,
even ******* paid attention,
I lost my mind in your hue,
you're ******* cobalt blue.

I don't trust people
and it ******* *****
I actually quite like you
but it's just a ****
some temporary lovin
to **** time I'd have alone
temporary huggin
just to make me moan
might think otherwise
because the signs you've shown
but this will not be love
it's just tiptoeing through the unknown.