i'm sick of being miserable
i just wanna exist for awhile.

I am a half-built castle
made from weathered and broken stones
my foundations are not solid
and the rain pours so easily
through a roof not yet there
I am an unfinished project
abandoned before I could prove my worth
I am all the cracks and crevices
in this forgotten tower
I am alone and incomplete
and I would rather be nothing
than an almost-something

Depression is like a bottomless hole
Depression is wanting to go home when you're already there
Depression is being alone surrounded by friends
Depression is laughing the loudest while being the saddest

Depression is a bottomless hole
That ***** all life and happiness from your body
Depression is a bottomless hole in your soul
Depression is an invisible force that pulls you deep down into the hole

When you're at the edge of the hole
Looking down into it
The force grabs you by your feet and pulls you down
And the more you go down
More strength you need to climb up
And less will you have to do so

Depression is a bottomless hole in your soul
That ***** all life and happiness from your body
Don't let it pull you down completely
Do not reach the bottom

I look at the same place
Once
Twice
A thousand times
And I still will not be sure
That it is reality

I don't always say what I mean
And I mean a lot of things I don't say
So I talk with you in my head
And you, and you, and you
I always get replies

I catch myself smiling or frowning
And then I give myself a scolding
But the worst is when I forget
Which conversations were real
And which ones were not

Sometimes
My body twitches
And I can't stop

I don't have anyone
Not one person gives a ****
Everyone who ever said
That I meant something
Has ****** off or died
I'm not easy to handle
I can be a ***** sometimes
I am not perfect and not easy
To love. But I am so tired
Of feeling upset
And being lonely
I just want someone to be there for me
But
No one
Ever
Is.