hey,
i just wanted to tell you that
you are amazing
but when you look at me like that
you confuse me
you smile at me
but sometimes you look away
and that hurts.
so if you could give me a sign
not just a :)
it would be appreciated.

okay because you make me so happy
when you smile
my heart squeezes my head hurts i sweat and
i am just a mess
so please stop smiling.

Please.
:)

Dear blanket
The last time I held you was the third grade.
You were soft in my arms, the not yet faded lilac hang around my face like a willow tree
I loved you, I wore you out
You were all i needed.
Then i forgot about you because all that comes from a long relationship is wearing off and pain through the battlefield. I forgot that I loved to hold you when I needed support from an inanimate object who's inanimate imaginary endeavors were far greater than the ones I held in life. You, you are what gives us life. The small things are what makes us who we are and if we forget and give it up we leave it be. We are missing.
And so, you are all I need
I love you and I wore you out
No longer soft but still comforting shreds of cotton hang by my face
And alas I hold you tonight

Happiness can’t be found
It must be made
Prosper in some way

Happiness can’t be found
In wishing
Or wondering

Happiness can’t be found
In metal objects
Their own shininess doesn’t compel me

Happiness can’t be found
In a dark shower
The rain dripping off of my forehead
Stinging my eyes

Happiness can’t be found
In late night stands
And old band sets

Happiness must be made
In nightly sing-a -longs with old friends near a fireplace
In warm dark showers with music echoing in the background
In crying over something that won’t matter in the end
In finishing what you set out to do

Only you can make your happiness.

Suddenly she found herself on a park bench
Alone at school
    Not eating, being careful
       Those pesky calories
                             Can get to anyone.
The thinner the better and she was not thin yet
    She ate herself raw
      From the inside until it showed on the out
      Her insides were always twisting inside her
And though the wind blew strong that day
And her eyes were teared up
And her skin was pimpled
And her stomach lay like a stone
She sat and waited for someone to call her
                                                         Or touch her
                                                         Or anything in between
                     But no one ever did.
And that's why you won’t see her here
   No, she’s in the clouds
                    She’s flying upstairs.