im scared when im with(out) you
im so scared
i love you.

thats all i even know anymore.

i love you.

does this even make sense?
do i even make sense?

i love you!

but how can something so beautiful last?
how can something so lovely be perpetuated forever into infinity and beyond?

forever and ever amen.

i believe the universe is fundamentally good.
i believe you are, too.
i believe this is.

but im so scared.
ive never loved anyone like this
im scared when im with(out) you.
i love you.

will you always love me?
if you dont, that's ok.
i mean it's not but it is because you'll be ok and i will too someday but i love you now and i want to love you forever and you can never ever know how i feel because it's like im stuck watching a never ending film reel of our happiest moments and youre just a movie, just a story for me to tell other people about forever and ever amen and i hope it will never end.

i love you.

im scared.

i love you.

She is the sound of the rain
Soft tapping on the rooftops
An inexplicably calm feeling that you cannot stop

She floods your senses
Rushing gently while you can only float
Who are you, atop the ocean of her gaze?

She is the longing for sunlight
Overwhelmingly beautiful on the brow of a new day
An incredibly powerful feeling that breeds bliss

She alters your heartbeat
Shining intensely while you can only stare
What are you, worthy of being the object of her desire?

She is the most beautiful music
Sending your mind to faraway places
A fantastical feeling that moves your entire being

She quickens your breath
Crescendoing endlessly while you can only listen
Where are you, in the symphony of her being?

She somehow seems to be everything

Your favorite color
Your muse
Your captor
Your love

Everything

She is.

I do not understand
How someone can rob me of air without hesitation
Effortlessly

But here you are
Perpetually taking each breath
Just as I catch it

I do not understand
How someone can transfix me without trying
Easily

But here you are
Constantly hypnotizing me
Before I can break your spell

I do not understand
How someone can captivate me without realizing
Masterfully

But here you are
Forever trapping me in your gaze
Before I can escape

I do not understand
How someone can tell me that I do all of this to them
Wildly

When that someone is you.

hey!

i dont know what im doing actually
im 17
im stressed sometimes but a lot of things make me happy
do i have to know what i want to do already?

im excited for the future
but it also scares me a lot
isnt it crazy how people are just a bunch of contradictions?

isnt that word weird?
a contradiction shouldnt work
so if people work and they are full of contradictions
are they really contradictions?

or do the people really work?
as people, i mean
i dont know

it can be pretty wild man
theres a lot i dont know
sometimes i worry
do i know less than everybody around me?

i know more in some areas
but probably in fewer areas than they do
im so impressed at the ability of humanity to know so much

but we also dont know that much
we make a lot of mistakes
i make a lot of mistakes
so maybe

maybe humanity is just 17

maybe humanity has as many questions as i do.

Red light cast on the side of a hotel
City colors bleed together
Crimson stoplights wail until their throats burn

Red light covers my hands when I write
Cars slice through the summer night
Rouge flushes her cheeks so that she looks alive

Red light shows hollows under your eyes
Chitchat cuts through urban soundscapes
Veins of traffic light up the dark with a golden pulse

Red light reveals the emptied sidewalk
Breaks pierce the air in shared cacophony
The heartbeat of the city spills into a cold and cadaverous evening.