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Olivia Aug 2018
You
I do not understand
How someone can rob me of air without hesitation
Effortlessly

But here you are
Perpetually taking each breath
Just as I catch it

I do not understand
How someone can transfix me without trying
Easily

But here you are
Constantly hypnotizing me
Before I can break your spell

I do not understand
How someone can captivate me without realizing
Masterfully

But here you are
Forever trapping me in your gaze
Before I can escape

I do not understand
How someone can tell me that I do all of this to them
Wildly

When that someone is you.
Olivia Aug 2018
hey!

i dont know what im doing actually
im 17
im stressed sometimes but a lot of things make me happy
do i have to know what i want to do already?

im excited for the future
but it also scares me a lot
isnt it crazy how people are just a bunch of contradictions?

isnt that word weird?
a contradiction shouldnt work
so if people work and they are full of contradictions
are they really contradictions?

or do the people really work?
as people, i mean
i dont know

it can be pretty wild man
theres a lot i dont know
sometimes i worry
do i know less than everybody around me?

i know more in some areas
but probably in fewer areas than they do
im so impressed at the ability of humanity to know so much

but we also dont know that much
we make a lot of mistakes
i make a lot of mistakes
so maybe

maybe humanity is just 17

maybe humanity has as many questions as i do.
Olivia Jul 2018
Red light cast on the side of a hotel
City colors bleed together
Crimson stoplights wail until their throats burn

Red light covers my hands when I write
Cars slice through the summer night
Rouge flushes her cheeks so that she looks alive

Red light shows hollows under your eyes
Chitchat cuts through urban soundscapes
Veins of traffic light up the dark with a golden pulse

Red light reveals the emptied sidewalk
Breaks pierce the air in shared cacophony
The heartbeat of the city spills into a cold and cadaverous evening.
Olivia Jul 2018
Dear Coshocton, Ohio-

           I remember how warm you seemed. Not in the traditional sense of the word, but in a way that evoked feelings of safety, comfort, and care. In a time before I knew the true meaning of red and blue, did not realize the depth of ideological division, and assumed that nothing existed beyond the eggshell walls of our town, you taught me the meaning of community. Perhaps you were a community to which I never fully belonged, or maybe I just never earned my place, but you are also a world from which I know I will never be apart.

          Coshocton, you showed me the strength of caring for everyone, young and old. Your chipped-paint homes and run-down factories and aged population all represent a better time but possess the undying hope that this better time was only a state of mind which you never left behind.

          I remember the trips to the library, where swarms of sticky-fingered children and their families listened to story time as I clambered to make conversation with people nine times my age, stumbling over my words and speaking with the staggering and lilting speech of one who has not yet learned what not to say and when not to say it.

         Coshocton, you gave me the first memories I ever had, laughing with friends and sledding down hills, wandering around a house much too big for me, wonderfully satisfied with what life had provided and wishing for nothing more than to continue being happy.

          I know I will always be indebted to you, and for that I apologize, for I will never return what you offered. But you are so much more than what I owe you or what you granted me. You are a community, a city, a history, a people, a tiny dot on a map of cornfields and flatlands and run-down highways, a little theater in a dilapidated strip mall, an annual fair in the midst of an ailing community, a possibility for revitalization at the hands of your now-grown youths, a piece of flypaper in a sea of mousetraps, you were a gift.

         You are a gift.

         Thanks for everything.
Olivia Jul 2018
Our city is painted with thoughts and feelings
Walls unkempt and overrun with expression
Made to fit movie screens with their perfection

Our city is lit by lovers and dreamers
They hold hands without caring and kiss in the daylight
Unlike me, they wouldn’t mind who was staring

Our city is a film still in my memory
Growing more valuable with time
The white becoming a little more golden with age

Our city is a privilege to me, a sacred moment
Not a city anymore but a nostalgic pang of laughter and a dull awareness of seconds
Always passing too quickly, like a reservoir that everyone knows will soon be emptied but that is drained anyway

Our city is bookstores and mountains
Dark cars and dim statues
Nightwalkers and busy streets

Our city is happiness and fear and youth and color and reckless and forward and awesome

But maybe Our City

Is just mine.
Olivia Jul 2018
When I was younger
I never stopped counting things
Said "bye" to the sink

It started with sounds
Forcing their way from my mouth
Words pronounced just right

When I was younger
I flipped the lights off and on
Never stopped to think

It sustained through songs
Perpetual nighttime rites
If they don't happen...

When I was younger
I couldn't tell tales from life
Truth obscured by ink

It ended with age
I did not tally my steps
Did not control light

When I was younger
I was plagued by a child's mind
But time broke the link

I am free of O
I am free of C
I am free of D

I am free.
Olivia Jul 2018
I had a dream you messaged me
I heard my phone vibrate in the night
Blinked through dusted eyes and saw

Miss you

A small garden bloomed somewhere nearby
The harsh blue sunlight hit my face
And a warm smile was there

Miss you

I grinned because I wanted to say it
But I couldn’t, not first at least
I was afraid you were giving up

Miss you

Written in your effortless slang
The most casual of phrases, stripped of its vulnerability
Like you, but somehow still intimate

Miss you

A reassurance, a calming tide
After the tsunami
A gently rocking wave

Miss you

When I awoke, the dust in my eyes clouded my vision
I could not see, for the sun was too bright
And the warmth on my face was replaced by numbness

I miss you

I did not remember the dream until later in the day
Perhaps it was for the best
My muddled morning mind knew I could not have borne the truth

I miss you

And because you are silent
So am I, but I know I will give in
I just hope you will first

Because I miss you.
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