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Olivia Jul 2018
Dear Coshocton, Ohio-

           I remember how warm you seemed. Not in the traditional sense of the word, but in a way that evoked feelings of safety, comfort, and care. In a time before I knew the true meaning of red and blue, did not realize the depth of ideological division, and assumed that nothing existed beyond the eggshell walls of our town, you taught me the meaning of community. Perhaps you were a community to which I never fully belonged, or maybe I just never earned my place, but you are also a world from which I know I will never be apart.

          Coshocton, you showed me the strength of caring for everyone, young and old. Your chipped-paint homes and run-down factories and aged population all represent a better time but possess the undying hope that this better time was only a state of mind which you never left behind.

          I remember the trips to the library, where swarms of sticky-fingered children and their families listened to story time as I clambered to make conversation with people nine times my age, stumbling over my words and speaking with the staggering and lilting speech of one who has not yet learned what not to say and when not to say it.

         Coshocton, you gave me the first memories I ever had, laughing with friends and sledding down hills, wandering around a house much too big for me, wonderfully satisfied with what life had provided and wishing for nothing more than to continue being happy.

          I know I will always be indebted to you, and for that I apologize, for I will never return what you offered. But you are so much more than what I owe you or what you granted me. You are a community, a city, a history, a people, a tiny dot on a map of cornfields and flatlands and run-down highways, a little theater in a dilapidated strip mall, an annual fair in the midst of an ailing community, a possibility for revitalization at the hands of your now-grown youths, a piece of flypaper in a sea of mousetraps, you were a gift.

         You are a gift.

         Thanks for everything.
Olivia Jul 2018
Our city is painted with thoughts and feelings
Walls unkempt and overrun with expression
Made to fit movie screens with their perfection

Our city is lit by lovers and dreamers
They hold hands without caring and kiss in the daylight
Unlike me, they wouldn’t mind who was staring

Our city is a film still in my memory
Growing more valuable with time
The white becoming a little more golden with age

Our city is a privilege to me, a sacred moment
Not a city anymore but a nostalgic pang of laughter and a dull awareness of seconds
Always passing too quickly, like a reservoir that everyone knows will soon be emptied but that is drained anyway

Our city is bookstores and mountains
Dark cars and dim statues
Nightwalkers and busy streets

Our city is happiness and fear and youth and color and reckless and forward and awesome

But maybe Our City

Is just mine.
Olivia Jul 2018
When I was younger
I never stopped counting things
Said "bye" to the sink

It started with sounds
Forcing their way from my mouth
Words pronounced just right

When I was younger
I flipped the lights off and on
Never stopped to think

It sustained through songs
Perpetual nighttime rites
If they don't happen...

When I was younger
I couldn't tell tales from life
Truth obscured by ink

It ended with age
I did not tally my steps
Did not control light

When I was younger
I was plagued by a child's mind
But time broke the link

I am free of O
I am free of C
I am free of D

I am free.
Olivia Jul 2018
I had a dream you messaged me
I heard my phone vibrate in the night
Blinked through dusted eyes and saw

Miss you

A small garden bloomed somewhere nearby
The harsh blue sunlight hit my face
And a warm smile was there

Miss you

I grinned because I wanted to say it
But I couldn’t, not first at least
I was afraid you were giving up

Miss you

Written in your effortless slang
The most casual of phrases, stripped of its vulnerability
Like you, but somehow still intimate

Miss you

A reassurance, a calming tide
After the tsunami
A gently rocking wave

Miss you

When I awoke, the dust in my eyes clouded my vision
I could not see, for the sun was too bright
And the warmth on my face was replaced by numbness

I miss you

I did not remember the dream until later in the day
Perhaps it was for the best
My muddled morning mind knew I could not have borne the truth

I miss you

And because you are silent
So am I, but I know I will give in
I just hope you will first

Because I miss you.
Olivia Jun 2018
When I kissed you,
Something captivated my mind
I could not focus
For fear that I would miss something

But somehow
You were mesmerized by passerby
I was mesmerized by your mind

When I kissed you,
Some things went a little wrong
But I felt like it was all right
And I smiled inside

And somehow
You let me give it a try
I sort of wondered why

When I kissed you,
The world didn’t stop moving
Though it stayed with me and I laughed
Because there was nothing else to do

But somehow
I wanted to go back and do it again
You are better at it than I am

When I kissed you,
I cursed myself to never forget
So I will always remember
The time

When I kissed you.
Olivia Jun 2018
I want to make you a fairy tale
But I know I will fail.

I want to write you the perfect story
But that's not you, I worry.

I want to hold you for centuries
But I know our time is made of memories.

I want to make you a fairy tale
I know I will fail.

I want to speak your happiness
I know I can only wish.

I want to give you a place of comfort
I know you will only wonder.

Oh, to make you a fairy tale.

I wish I would not fail.
Olivia Jun 2018
My friend-

This is for you

For you who walks in the valley of uncertainty
Tracing the footsteps of a thousand before you
Lighting the way for a million behind you

You will know this path well
Perhaps you will memorize the fissures in the walls
They might line up with your own

I will call to you from afar
But this journey is meant to be alone
And that is okay

It is often dark
But on the best days the cracks fill with light
They illuminate the path and you can see

The tunnel has an ending
Another one waits beyond it
But you will soon know that they are your tunnels

The path is winding and unceasing
But the stretches of light grow ever larger
And you will have time to stop and smell the flowers

It will be okay
For the path is long and dark and tiresome
But it ends and another begins and it ends too

A time will come when you stop seeing the tunnels
And only see

The path.
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