"Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want."

Human psyche
**** spurs inside of me
Why must you try me, hide from me
Yet parts of you still fly inside of me
Can't quite shake you
Not sure if I want to
Not sure if I know how to
All I know is right now there's a fae inside telling lie,
Telling me you're relevant
Telling me you're dying inside too without me

You torment me
Is this your reflection, sadistic satisfaction or contradictory affection?
Still can't shake you

Early bird gets the worm
I want to make you squirm

No mental capacity to see anything outside of you and I
how did you learn to hold me without knowing me?
Nothing physical, something transcendental yet so far from tangible

Test me
Undress me
Impress me
Digress relevance, find me
No, I can't let you have all of me

I want you to chase me, never displace me, die breathless without me
What do I want more? Your attention or affection?

Amazing flow, where'd you go?
One day someone will appreciate me and all that I think I know
Hopefully the same day I find the courage to truly display me

my air conditioner is broken.
the attic is hot and humid.
the air swirls around slowly and lazily as if it isn't causing any discomfort.
as if isn't causing me to take off my shirt and stare at my scars.
pink, purple, white
it's a collage of colors no one would pay to see.
a heartbreaking representation of fragmented human souls left to hurt in peace.

my mind is broken.
my body is numb and miserable.
my thoughts bounce off the sides of my skull as if they weren't pouring salt into my wounds.
as if they weren't pointing at me and whispering to their friend about how grotesque i am.
fat, ugly, worthless
it's a novel of humanity no one would care to read.
a dying representation of why we weren't smiling that day at lunch.

I am a little bit more
than a little bit out of my league.
But whenever I start to panic
you try to reassure me.

What happens when we eventually run out,
of things for us to talk about?

Well then we'll both finally get some sleep.

And when we wake up?

**Then we'll  just talk about our dreams.

i want my name to become
synonymous with
your definition of hope
        (i don't know how to save you
        but i know how to try,
        and if you let me, i'll be your saving grace)