Your cold body is contorted on the soft carpet
Spurts of thick blood come from the heart I have carved out of your chest
My warm fingers bare the scarlet stain as evidence of what I’ve done
And no amount of scrubbing can take it away

I’ve become a paralyzed creature, who doesn’t understand how to respond
I played around with the heaviest words in my vocabulary
Not realizing the power that they had
Unaware that I was unready to say them

I never loved you; at the time I thought the feeling was there
Now you lie unresponsive
As I slowly walk away from the mess I’ve made
And leave you in the past
The words I used to stab at your heart, the words I didn’t mean, echoing in my mind
“I love you”

I am dying to know
If the way your fingers swept through mine
Was simply an accident
Or if you meant something by it
Is the way I catch you staring at me
Something I make up in my head
Because I want you to be staring at me
I sit here waiting for you to say something
Well why don’t I?
I am nervous
I am shy
I am just a simple guy
Could you love me?
I ‘ll never know unless I try
Move past my insecurities
Build up some confidence
And let my feelings float freely
Because every time we separate
And I still call you ‘just a friend’
It kills me

You came to me flawless
Skin smooth and unbruised
And my arms were painted
Scars from the past exposed

And I tried to assure you
That you would come away clean
That love doesn’t hurt
That love isn’t mean

But you walked away decorated
One arm black, one arm blue
Tattoos from clinging too tightly
To someone who wanted to run

The sharp words we threw around
Dug deep into your skin
Leaving permanent lines
Etched into your porcelain arms

Yet, I’ve spotted you lately
With skin smooth and unbruised
You hide your scars from the world
With an innocent smile

I never wrote about Love
Not before now
Because I was never sure
But after today
I think that I'm ready to try.

What is love?
Is it nothing but a
Chemical reaction in the brain?
Ascribing worth?
Maybe
But it's more than that
To me at least.

Love is
Knowing someone's full of faults
And staying anyway.

Love is
Making limits
And respecting them.

Love is
Your heart skipping a beat
At the sound of a name.

Love is
Fighting to not fall apart
When you disagree.

Love is
Wanting to give
A random hug.

Love is
Wanting to receive
A random hug.

Love is
Crying for
Someone.

Love is
The feeling I get
When I fight to tell you
"Kaydee, I love you"
And saying it anyway.

Finally, Love is
Crying
Reminiscing
Dreaming
Wondering
Waiting
Being

Together.­

I now have no control over how I love you.
I cannot hold it back.
I don't want to hold it back.
I just want to hold you
Talk to you
Fall asleep with you
Laugh with you
Cry with you

And that's why I thought I was ready to write about love.