Olive

Olive Aug 2015

There's a reason your last name has "Devil" in it

Dont show up to my work,
even if its a public place.
Do not show up and flash me your crooked teeth in a smile,
they remind me of razor blades.
Dont say 'Hi'
even if it is common courtesy.
Just leave me alone,
just get out of my soul.
Just let me breathe,
let me love someone as much as I loved you god ******.
God ****** why did you dictate me for months,
why did I carry you around in my pocket?
Why did I want you because now,
now all I want is for those razor blade teeth to cut you instead of me

Olive Jul 2015

Clingy

People say all the time that they like clingy,
They like knowing someone cares
Well then why is that I am hated,
Even though I love too deeply and quickly
I am a clingy person who gets attached,
Who starts to realize that I might be,
One of the only,
Actual clingy people who will just,
Just never be loved back,
Who will always be the second choice pal,
Who will always get replaced by the boy
I'm so incredibly lonely,
Just floating and looking for another soul

Olive Jul 2015

If

If one more man tries to tell the world what **** is, I'll explode
If one more white man kills a black person and has it called "justice"
If one more person says that depression is just a phase
If one more parent hits their kid and calls it love
If this world stays so broken.
If this world stays so upside down.
If.
If I bring a child into this world someday, I will tell them I'm sorry
If that kid has to live in this same world,
if my child has to suffer because of anything.
If.

Olive Jul 2015

I am

the nicest person in the entire world,
someone who stands her ground when her views are questioned,
the best friend because I will always put you before myself
always the friend who gives up her coat to a friend if they need it,
the shy kid with the loudest laugh.
The most giant clingy loving human being

the friend who gets replaced first
the friend who tries to figure out when it all went wrong
the friend who depends so much that she loses herself
the friend who realizes she is nothing special
the person who never stops crying when she's replaced,
the person who asks "why" over and over until my lungs give out

the person with the most love to give,
someone who loses everyone easily
someone who says I love you and gets nothing back

Olive Jul 2015

Because

Your mother died and I'm sorry,
but that does not mean that I forgive you,
I do not forgive your wolfish grin as you held around my throat,
I will not forgive the ****** eyes that stared into mine as you punched me
I will not forgive the menace of my youth
I will not let this reduce the grudge in my mind.

Olive Jul 2015

Ignored

I love people who do not love me as much as they should,
I open my arms to people to give them hugs and embracing them
as they stab me in the back.
I always get my own blood from the knives in my backs
confused with love and warmth,
I dont feel like anyone needs me as much as I need them,
every friend I have always hesitates as I say 'I love you'
I always get pushed aside as my friends start to date,
I only ever am relevant when their love turns to hate,
I dont think anymore on my own,
I've become too dependent,
so just ignore me
just let me be by myself.

Olive Jul 2015

Why?

Why is it so hard to be happy?
Why is it so difficult to breathe on my own?
Why is everything always not good enough for me?
Why am I setting myself to such high-standards?
Why do I feel lonely within a crowded area?
Why do I find comfort in my own pain?

Why am I always the second choice?