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418 · Mar 2014
draining
Liv Mar 2014
draining
i'm sorry
that i can't take all of your pain away
i wonder every day if you're ok
and i know that you hide smiles
so i string them around my neck
so that if you need
a chance to bleed
you can lay your heavy world
on my weak knees
you can rest your burdens
on my achy heart
you can steal my heartbeats
to keep you alive
there's nothing i want more
than for you to survive.
i'm sorry that you are so sad, i'm trying my best.
Continue reading...
417 · Jun 2014
explanation
Liv Jun 2014
explanation
Some people will ask, "why smoke ****?"
In the world of drugs and a sea of speed
they'll say "the acid and ecstasy are all we need."
But there's something so pure
about burning a plant and inhaling life
I'm not looking for a party
and that's the thing about smoking
it will put you in a good place
where you could rest your tired head
from the travesty of reality
and a positive mentality
i'm myself here.
this is an awful poem, i know it is, i couldn't convey my words properly, but i decided to post it because i feel like there are some parts of it that accurately describe my explanation for why i choose to smoke ****
Continue reading...
416 · Feb 2014
the perks of being more than alive
Liv Feb 2014
the perks of being more than alive
I could lay down with you for hours
share our deepest secrets
admire each others imperfection
and call it practically perfect

I could listen to this song on repeat
for hours and hours
drowning in the words that I hear you say
pulsing them throughout my veins

I could listen to you ramble and giggle
for hours and hours and hours
because I've never heard a sound
quite the same as the one escaping your mouth

I know i'm not much
but I want you to stay
and listen for hours and hours and hours
as we pretend to be your favorite films
500 days of you and I
and in that moment I swear we were...

please don't run away,
for hours and hours
i want you to stay
♥
Continue reading...
412 · Mar 2014
post-war
Liv Mar 2014
post-war
I'm sorry that I can't be your sunshine
because I'm basking in mine
I wish you could lay with me
so the heat can penetrate your heart
with warmth and sunlight
I want you to feel the life
that swims through my veins, now
so you can understand
that it does get better
and this lurid battle you fight
every day of your life
is ending before your very eyes
so that you can join me in the sunshine
to finally feel what you thought
couldn't possibly be real
I can't write lately and it's killing me, I have so much to say, but I can't seen to get the words to flow the right way to fully express all of my thoughts
but nonetheless, this is for you because you're too important to feel so low. I'm happy.
Continue reading...
410 · Dec 2013
you've made your bed
Liv Dec 2013
you've made your bed
they come from a place within us that is plagued with hate
where favorite words are worst nightmares
and torturing becomes a daily routine

they bring you here to make you feel
like there is no one else who can save you now
because here, you have no god
and even if you did, he won't save you anymore

you'll dig inside to try and find what you did wrong
but all you'll find is confusion, regrets and ambiguity
you're walking in circles
digging yourself a grave
all the way to the core of the earth
where you swore to yourself that when you're rotting and burning

this will all end
Continue reading...
409 · Aug 2014
8/27
Liv Aug 2014
8/27
there's no way out of these weary eyes
and crystal bones
just outside the hospital
the cab is waiting
to take you home to me

your pride is just too big
to fit inside my skin these days
to me, you're just
shriveled on a the concrete
a waste of space
just another side walk to clean
me.
Continue reading...
408 · Nov 2012
Undefined Eye
Liv Nov 2012
Undefined Eye
I didn't try to leave, but why would I stay?
I can't stand living here for another day.
If I'm trying to be different, then I'm pretty much the same
Everyone's trying to play that game.
I've got things to run from and things I haven't done
My friends are all gone and I'm sick of everyone

I've been getting jealous of butterflies
They can go anywhere with curious eyes
But then I've been thinking
And that wasn't wise
If they can go anywhere
Why can't I?

And I start to wonder if wonder is blind
And I wonder what I'm even trying to find
If all I'm trying to do is free my mind,
Then I guess I'm just another undefined eye.

I'll leave here before everything dies
Before I become the demon I've been trying to disguise
Because if I stay with all this mess
Then nothing changes
I'm still
Hopeless,
At best.
Continue reading...
406 · Dec 2013
Confussion
Liv Dec 2013
Confussion
I'm scared to death of the feeling
I get when I can no longer feel my mind
taking off into space
and leaving colorful trails of stars and tears
We're hiding so much
and there's so much pain
so I come to that place when my mind
feels amazingly blind to memory
and I'm floating in this superficial
atmosphere I've made for myself
Continue reading...
406 · Apr 2014
good bye
Liv Apr 2014
good bye
this is for you and your broken heart
this is something to let you know that
you haven't done anything wrong
you're the strongest woman
i have ever seen
and it kills me knowing that
i've ruined the only thing you're living for
you've given me the world
you've given me life
you've given me all that i could want
and i gave nothing in return

this is for you
my best friend who can't sleep through the night
without wanting to sleep forever
you're a beautiful smile rolled up in a hurricane of tears
i'm sorry i'm breaking our promise
you're my best friend
and you've showed me that with a little love
life can last forever

this is for you
my best friend who wears bags under her eyes
and wants to follow in the footsteps
of a little green girl
who i'll be seeing soon
adding to your heart ache seems so evil
and it's ripping up my heart
this is for my best friend
who would die to save my life
and so i'd die to save hers

this is for you
my dear little brother
who kills my hope and doesn't care
except when i'm like this
then i suddenly become important
and i know you have your own demons
but you'd never know mine
so you run away from yours
every single time

and finally, this is for you
the boy i've fallen in love with
a boy who thinks he has nothing left
so he runs away until he can't run anymore
and looks for drugs around every corner
my beautiful boy friend
who gives me reasons to live
and sings me to sleep
so i can dream of a place where
he and i would wake up in the morning
and smile for the first time in years
a smile that doesn't hide cuts and tears
a smile that grows from ear to ear
at the thought that one day
we'll be free
goodbye. this is for you, i love you all.
Continue reading...
402 · Aug 2014
sea water
Liv Aug 2014
sea water
Feel the heat
Feel the sunlight
on your bare back
breathe in the ocean
let it take you far away
immerse yourself in the waves
Feel them crash against your skin
Life's a salty concoction; drink up.
I wrote this tonight. I am in a good place.
Continue reading...
399 · Mar 2014
depression
Liv Mar 2014
depression
there's cold nights
where I forget how to breathe
and it seems so silly to forget
something so vital
but i'm just not quite sure
that i can handle the weight
of each passing breath
and my lungs are swollen
and softly crying
with each inhale
and they scream at my chest
causing a rise and fall

i shoot bullets from my heart
and through my veins
to **** this feeling
of not being quite sure
how to breathe anymore
this is how depression hits.
Continue reading...
398 · Feb 2014
a best friend
Liv Feb 2014
a best friend
don't disappear
I need you near
to keep me here
i read every word you write, loud and clear
Continue reading...
394 · Nov 2013
The words that cried lullabies
Liv Nov 2013
The words that cried lullabies
I know that I'm just another passerby
but I have a letter shoved away in my pocket
that is filled with sorrows, regrets, apologies
so I can leave in peace
with someone to know that I was alone
I want everyone to know that I've been abused
by the simple fact that you never said hello
when I needed it the most

every word pushing me closer to the edge
literally being pushed to the edge
of the earth, to my limits, to the grave
and all I can see are low faces
stuck in a useless routine
of living in a filthy world
where we grew up, and learned to be bitter
and ignore the girls who are being pushed to the edge
with a letter in their pocket that screams
"WHY DOESN'T ANYONE NOTICE ME?"
until it's gone to far
and it's all gone
Continue reading...
392 · Dec 2013
Brennan
Liv Dec 2013
Brennan
I've never felt so numb
where I can't even bring myself
to type words or to rub the tears from my eyes
because you are the most important thing
I've ever held near my heart
It sickens me to know
that yesterday was the last time
I'd ever hug you
or kiss you or hold you
or laugh with you
or cry with you
because you're gone
sooner than I hoped you would leave.
Continue reading...
391 · Feb 2014
kyle
Liv Feb 2014
kyle
Kiss me to sleep
You'll be forever mine
Love is not a waste
E**ven if it doesn't shine
do not love and leave me, i refuse to fall
Continue reading...
385 · Jun 2014
;
Liv Jun 2014
;
i want to be with you.
i want to spend my mornings staring into your eyes
i want our bodies to make sparks just like we used to
i want to listen to your laugh and see you smile
i want to fall asleep to the sound of your voice
and your soft kisses at the nape of my neck
i want to listen to your favorite songs
dance like idiots and smoke underneath a blanket
i want to grow old with you
and see you change into the man
i always knew you were
more than anything,
i want you to be happy
i want you to live
i want you here
you're my sweet sweet sunshine.
i can't write anymore. i just miss you more than anything in the entire ******* universe, please come home. i need you
Continue reading...
382 · Feb 2013
Weather Like This
Liv Feb 2013
Weather Like This
Weather like this
reminds me of a time
when it hurt to breathe

Weather like this
reminds me of giving up
when I couldn't live.

Sun shining
Wind blowing
Patches of grass showing
And my eyes watered over
from yesterdays heartache
of giving up
and a time when it hurt to breathe.

I'm cold, but getting warmer.
Continue reading...
382 · Jun 2014
notice me
Liv Jun 2014
notice me
you are only a dream
resting on top of wonderland
dancing with the waves
and salty kisses floating
in a sea of people

make my body a piece of your art
so you can put me on display
as one of your prized pieces
write me a song that syncs with
my heartbeats and connects
me to yours

you wrap your fingers around my heart
and shake me until i'm awake
you are only a dream
Continue reading...
378 · Mar 2014
complete
Liv Mar 2014
complete
it was instant
like an electric shock to my heart
that twisted the corners of my mouth
to form a smile
that I have not smiled before

i fell in love tonight
i can't explain why
i can't explain how
but the way he looked at me
sent shivers down my spine
i felt bursts of adrenaline
rushing to my lips
that wanted so badly to scream out
I'M ******* IN LOVE WITH YOU

i felt my bones shake tonight
and my heart rattle its iron bars
for something so beautiful
something so instant
something i haven't really felt before

i fell in love with you tonight
wow
Continue reading...
375 · Mar 2013
Ph.D.
Liv Mar 2013
Ph.D.
We're afraid of the water at first glance
It's deep and cold
We know we can drown
I've learned to wade
rather than jump

Slow and steady
has made all the difference.
Continue reading...
374 · Jul 2013
All for you
Liv Jul 2013
All for you
I cried for you
I tried for you
I lied for you
I'd side with you
Decide for you
Confide in you
Provide for you
Misguided by you
Collided with you
Subsided because of you,
I died for you.
Continue reading...
367 · Jul 2013
Tired
Liv Jul 2013
Tired
Holding it together
was easy when I was with you.
Falling apart
was easier when I was alone.
There was no one
to keep secrets from
except myself
and if I can't trust myself,
I have no one;
And falling apart
is easier when no one
is around to pick up the pieces
Not even yourself
Continue reading...
355 · May 2014
the hard way
Liv May 2014
the hard way
one day
ten years from now
we'll look up at the stars
and smile with each gust of wind
that sings softly in our ears.
then we'll know
that it's all
going to
be okay.
not a poem, but this is for you, my darling
Continue reading...
353 · Aug 2014
wake up, oliveah
Liv Aug 2014
wake up, oliveah
It was fun, playing with diamonds.
Nice to look at, too.
But at the end of the day
my hands are cut up and burning
from salty tears and disappointment
at the end of the day
I needed a rock.
Continue reading...
349 · Feb 2014
meghan
Liv Feb 2014
meghan
i miss this little girl
with colors in her heart
and fire in her veins
who sang songs about the sunshine
and soaked up all the rain
Continue reading...
348 · Jul 2013
Sad World
Liv Jul 2013
Sad World
She was just a sad girl
who wanted to change the world.
She pulled from within
the courage and strength she was gifted
until her vitality ran dry
and she no longer felt strong.
She was told the mountains were too high
the jumps, too wide
the people, too numb
the world, too big.
The sad girl who could have changed the world,
let the world change her.
Continue reading...
343 · May 2014
i miss you
Liv May 2014
i miss you
i have a feeling
that miles and miles away
our hearts are stilling holding hands
and crying from the strain
but you're still holding me
and thats all that matters
Continue reading...
342 · Dec 2013
I will always love you
Liv Dec 2013
I will always love you
It wasn't just losing the love of my life
it's losing half of my heart
and it's losing my mind
it's losing my best friend
it's losing myself

Please be here when I wake up
because if you aren't
I'd really rather
not wake up at all.
Continue reading...
342 · Dec 2013
Color
Liv Dec 2013
Color
You're bright green
because you remind me of life
and happiness
and grass showing through
my thawing ice
and there's something comforting
in knowing that it won't be winter forever.
Continue reading...
337 · Apr 2014
brand new
Liv Apr 2014
brand new
ive been told my whole life
that i was crazy instead of brilliant
so i grew up thinking
that my opinions were wrong
and my ideas were impossible
until i looked in the mirror
for the first time at beautiful words
scribbled across my mind
instead of words i'd always come to regret
carved into my body with metal
dipped in red ink
Continue reading...
330 · Aug 2014
2:20 AM
Liv Aug 2014
2:20 AM
Beginning
In a craving
Never reaching the
Goal, never making it to the
E**nd
i just binged, i feel very awful. this poem is awful, i don't know what is going on everything *****
Continue reading...
320 · Dec 2013
She is green
Liv Dec 2013
She is green
Life is a concept that we too often take for granted
drowning in the thought that death would be fitting
but it's not so much that we want to die
rather that we don't want to live

angels don't deserve to die
or to feel this pain
and I truly think that you're an angel
but you let yourself think
that you were quite the opposite

angels can't die
you will forever be alive
Continue reading...
306 · Feb 2014
moving on
Liv Feb 2014
moving on
you and i could run through a forest
scream at the mountains and breathe in serenity
we could hold the sun in our hearts
the stars in our mind and the moon in our soul
I know where your mind is wandering
i'm already there--
Hell's gates are open and heaven's already gone
i'm begging you, god forgive me
i'm not ready to move on
Continue reading...
300 · Dec 2013
words and whispers
Liv Dec 2013
words and whispers
there's a certain comfort
in knowing that you'll fall again
back into that same body and mind
but now, having more wisdom

because now you know the tricks
you know how to maneuver through
the darkest recesses of  your mind
and everyone else's, for that matter.

you could scream
or talk
or whisper
but just remember

just because you whisper the words
does not make them any less painful to say
you're falling.
Continue reading...
291 · Nov 2013
beginnings
Liv Nov 2013
beginnings
This is nobody's fault but my own
and that's the part that scares me
I don't have a story
where I list my triggers
and where it all began
with who
doing what
when
because it wasn't an exact time or place
when I started to see me as too big
and the world, too small
now I'm left to die with a vision
of watching my stomach
rise and fall
Continue reading...
285 · Dec 2013
Friend
Liv Dec 2013
Friend
I've had people in the past
who i could call my friends
and people who I truly thought would be there
but it's different with you
you know me just as I know myself
and I know you more than you think I do
I sit and watch as you feel the same feelings
think the same thoughts
and look at people the same way
that I know I do
and it scares me
because I would never wish upon anyone
what has been done to me
but I'll never leave you
like you're just so used to
and I hope you'll stay
and we can fight together
this incliment weather
Continue reading...
284 · May 2014
my life without you
Liv May 2014
my life without you
he loved drugs so much             he              into
                                          that           turned        one.
my precious little pill
      filled with all these chemicals
    that swim in my mind
  and give me something to be happy about

...

                  but he's stuck in my bloodstream
                                                        and I can't get rid of him
         no matter how many times you tell me
                               he's just no good for me

i guess that makes me the addict then,
endlessly wanting more of his heavy breathing and fruitful mind

i'm hooked
and being away
from his comforting hold is bittersweet
oldish
Continue reading...
284 · May 2014
notes
Liv May 2014
notes
my lungs feel as if there's never enough air

like my tears
                      are
                            g
                               r
                                 a
                                 d
                                u
                              a
                            l
                            l
                             y
                               filling out my chest
and suffocating my lungs
all because i'm too afraid to be without you
and i'm too afraid to try
Continue reading...
283 · Sep 2013
To keep and to hold
Liv Sep 2013
To keep and to hold
My heart cracks
my mind melts
my bones shake
all for a love
that will never be seen

my love is all yours
so it could never be mine

but as I feel
emotions like bugs
rip apart my skin and crawl out
in angry patterns
make me weak

I realize that I need a love
that can be all mine
Continue reading...
280 · Aug 2013
"There's no problem, this is just what teenagers do."
Liv Aug 2013
"There's no problem, this is just what teenagers do."
Not crazy, just confused.
Not ill, just broken.
Continue reading...
277 · Sep 2013
Unrequited love
Liv Sep 2013
Unrequited love
He told me things that you tell me too
How am I supposed to believe you?

I'm small
in comparison
to the love you carry

but i'll never feel its full weight
just like I never felt his.

My problem
is that he, and you
and everyone
feel all of me
all at once
with full force

I give my love away
without asking for any in return
Continue reading...
275 · Mar 2014
untitled
Liv Mar 2014
untitled
The first time I fell in love
was with a boy who made me feel like galaxies
when I was barely a star
but it burned out and wasted away
and I was left to slowly decay

The second time I fell in love
was with a boy who gave me comfort
when I was still a broken bone
he gave me safety and sweet lullabies
but failed to see the fire burning in my eyes

I wondered for ages what I did wrong
to make these two boys forget I was strong
and I wondered why I just didn't belong

Until I found this new boy
who I fell in love with, too
a boy who shows me everything
from a different point of view
that love can be more than just
comfort, ego, and lust

He makes me certain
that galaxies aren't the best it gets
when the universe is at my finger tips
He gives me hope that there's more
than just what meets the eye
there's more than just a starry sky

I know this boy is my whole world
because I see oceans in his tired eyes
and diamonds in his crooked smile
roses grow inside of his heart
that spread like a wildfire to my veins
I no longer feel like a mistaken mess
all because of you.
Continue reading...
265 · Feb 2014
Red
Liv Feb 2014
Red
maybe it's the way you write
the curl of your smile
or the glimmer in your eyes
maybe you take me back
to times long forgotten
and words left unsaid
the words that I don't have to say
because they are running through your head
maybe you remind me
of the way I used to cry
and somehow you make understand
the reason i'm alive
you give me this feeling
of past understandings
and I presently accept
that maybe you carry
behind a heavy weighted mask
the color I've been looking for
pumping blood to one another
so I can fall asleep just right
in your arms tonight
a feeling
Continue reading...
247 · Aug 2013
Where I End Up
Liv Aug 2013
Where I End Up
I forgot my place
so I wandered
and found that
I was searching for
what didn't matter
Continue reading...
245 · Feb 2014
catching on
Liv Feb 2014
catching on
it scares the hell out of me
that i have the option to find new beginnings
it makes me sick
knowing that you are letting me

after months and years of slowly melting together
colliding with each other's colors
of soft gray and deep blue
you fade away

but I need you here
and you don't know how it hurts me
to see you smile at everyone else except me
while I'm screaming for you to notice me
but then it all makes sense
and i fall on the floor
you don't care anymore.
Continue reading...

— The End —