Sick, twisted ***** ***,
Building and building to sweet release,
too hot showers scouring skin,
The stench of regret is not so easy to cleanse.

Dreams are for the foolish
A soft touch,
A sweet word,
A tender kiss,
How the day comes fast
dragging back 2 reality.

Then there was him,
The boy who seen right through me,
so softly he kissed me, tears fell from my eyes.

But dreams are for the foolish
Too good to be true,
silly little girl don’t you know you’re a ****
silly little girl you only get ******.

It's so hard to be what our parents want.

I can't stay.
To recite these prayers
to wonder why
to smile and support
while a word tempts me
worries me
controls me
behind this locked door.

And they'll never even know.

I am their "last hope"
molded in empty promises
broken from the moment my feet met concrete.

Even now, they pretend
over and over—
just a girl, just a grade, just a drink, just a word.
They see the boy
the boy playing Christian
and they smile.

Can they be so blind?
He is the fruit of endless correction,
the consequence of imitation,
a complete absence of true desire—
a mere service for them above all.

But to stay
to let them open these doors and try to love a prodigal who can't change...

Impossible.

Dear God, may they never find me out.

i am the wolf i am the moon
i am a butterfly stuck in my cocoon
i am the summer gone way too soon

i am a pig mud keeps me cool
i am a stone i am a jewell
i am a fish - always in school

there's no tomorrow no yesterday
no past no future nothing in our way
who needs tomorrow when got today

we are the stars we are the sky
we are part of everything so we can never die
we all are part of the great circle of life

i am the wolf i am the moon

attention fear, attention fear
open your eyes can't you hear
time time it comes, times they go
like a river dream it flows and flows
come here fear, come right to me
swallow me surround me
and as i drown in you  
you devour everything i am, was,will be
i wallow in you and you consume me
my heart is working harder and harder
my mind is growing darker and darker
come quickly now fear
send me paranoia bring more debt
bring me my slow, painful, death
bring me spiders and bags of snakes
and large splinters piercing my sole
all of my regrets and past mistakes
throw it all in a hole
was there ever a time
when i wasn't out of my mind
time will come with fear by its side
so thank ma'am and sir for the wild ride

i know, i know life's too complex
you tell me everytime i drown
but you know, you know we flex
just enough to stay around

steal me a weapon
steal me a show
take me a picture
and pack it to go
steal me a reason
to be a nice guy
ask me to marry you
and then try to cry
let me go running
let me get back
tell me I'm funny
then tell me i ****
after you crush me
pick me back up
steal me a Tourette's
and come in to rub
stare when i curse
while you **** me a show
I'll tell you i love you
you'll tell me you know

so how's the whiteness of your eyes
i wonder if i'm still surprising you
and if i still imagine flights
of objects that you threw

is the red a sign of water
or maybe it's the lack of sleep
your aim thank god it falters
but still i crumble in defeat

i never thought this whiteness
has anything to do with you
sadly, no amount of colour blindness
can deny your eyes of blue