Nightmares rock my crib
I wake
   scream
cling
relax into the arms
of the man who always finds me.
The strong, shaking arms of the
man who clings back in
desperation.

I feel tears drip onto my head
                  drip
                  drip
                  drip
I nuzzle closer, offer
my own comfort.
But it was I who had the nightmare.

Maybe my father foresees
the nightmares
Perhaps his trembling arms hold back
the nightmares
It might be that beyond his arms
the nightmares run free.

Yet I settle…
         relax…
         dose…
Warmth spreads from his arms
to me.
My eyes fall closer and
the nightmares
Fade.

I see my father holding my hand
as we walk along the river.
I see the moon above us and my
father’s chin sprouting hair in the moonlight.
Everything is good.

But it was I who had the nightmare…

Mommy? My throat hurts
You tell me it's the flu.
Mommy? My nose itches
You tell me it's the flu.
Mommy, I keep coughing and
I don't know what to do.

Mommy? You look a little sleepy
But you slept all afternoon.
Mommy? You're really grumpy
But you slept all afternoon.
Mommy, you keep hitting me and
I don't know what to do.

Mommy? It smells bad in here
And I can't help but choke.
Mommy? It's so hard to breathe
And I can't help but choke.
Mommy, we're getting sicker and
I don't know what to do.

Mommy? Your tongue is turning black
Please make it stop.
Mommy? Your hair is falling out
Please make it stop.
Mommy I'm watching you decay and
I don't know what to do.

Mommy? My cough won't go away
But I don't have the flu
Mommy? My throat still hurts
But I don't have the flu.
Mommy I keep getting sick and
I don't know what to do.

Mommy? Grandma called,
She asked to speak to you.
Mommy? Auntie called
She asked to speak to you.
Mommy, they keep calling, crying, and
I don't know what to do.

Mommy? I'm in the park today
and I'm missing you.
Mommy? I hear laughter
and I'm missing you.
Mommy we don't get to play,
and I don't know what to do.

Mommy? Why'd you have to go
cause I'm still missing you.
Mommy? I try to be okay
But I'm still missing you.
Mommy they all have their moms
and I don't know what to do.

Mommy had a habit
It always smelled real bad.
The doctors couldn’t help her,
And it made me really sad.

we have this cycle it never ends,
every now and then we begin again.
over and over we find one another,
and for the time being we're each other's lovers.
but then it all stops and we are no more,
our hearts end up shattered on the floor.
we always say it wont happen again,
and that maybe this time we'll just stay friends.
but something draws us closer together
makes us believe this time is forever.
i dont want to hurt you, and you not i
so maybe this time it should just be goodbye.
the memories will fade and we can just forget
and this time the cycle wont begin again.
i know i dont love you, and you not i
so maybe this time it should just be goodbye.

***** and butts
****** and *****
parents and "tut tuts"

shimmies and struts
primps and cuts
falling, falling into ruts.

Drew knew,
We were through.
It'd gone blue.
So no more two.
Drew knew.

My heart is a puddle,
All full of muddle.
I'm slowly befuddled.
My heart is a puddle.

My heart is an ache
As my body, it quakes.
You give me the shakes.
My heart is an ache.

My heart is a puddle
and slowly befuddled.
You give me the shakes
and my heart is an ache.

And did you know..
I love you so?
That I do not want you to go?
And if you know,
and you still must go
Then do me one last favor-
give me one last breathy moment
for me to hold
and savor.