i had a dream
my face melted like a candle
my soul was a wick
and when the wick ran out
i died
it made me cry
but the end seemed
so sweet
oozing
like honey
when you touch it, it sticks
so delicious
i craved it
but
just like honey,
it came so slowly
i couldn't bear it

the world is hot,
my body is cold.
my heart is hot,
my throat is hot.
my brain is cold.
im panicking.
i dont know.
i dont know.
i dont know.
i need to speak,
but there are no words.
im scared,
but not fearful
i cant hear anything,
but the silence is so loud.
something is wrong.
i can feel it.
but i know,
i cant fix it.

i need coffee
to wake me up
to think
its  necessary
coffee
gone cold
like her blood
frozen forever
useless
now theyre both
in
the
trash

they say im sick
because we arent the same
just because they're sane
and my mind is on another plane
just because theyre plain
im stuck here
with only my mirror
to show me
that i am inferior

i didn't mean to-
sorry
oh
sorry
i dont know
sorry
i cant
sorry
sorry
sorry
             i say it so much it starts to mush
to  blend
to become montone

color
          like ink
spilled on my skin
                                I
                          ­­                   didn't ask for you to treat me this way.  


                                     different.
   but i know, always and forever, this will be.
            
whether black, brown, or native
             you are a costume, a worker, or simply a joke.
    crazy, insane to think.

it will always be there
     ingrained in the earth itself
the blood of these people, the works of men long gone.
horror. injustice. malice.
dont just wash away.
'can i touch your hair?'  'you're so much darker than me.'

because i am brown.

i will always be brown.

you will always be white.

there will always be difference

drip
drip
drip
drip
drip
cold
drip
drip
drip
drip
drop
drip
drip
­drip
slice
drip
drip
silence
drip
peace