Kelsey Nicole Simmons

Kelsey Nicole Simmons Apr 2013

Lately I've been getting
really bad headaches
and I can't seem to figure out why
because this has never before been
a problem.
I try to go about my day and be happy,
but the second i do,
migraine.
They're bad, too.
My head literally feels like it's going to
implode,
leaving me to be a headless ghost
falling to my knees
and crumpling to the ground
in a pathetic heap,
never even knowing what happened.
I don't know whats going on,
but I feel like these headaches
might just mean something.
Maybe its too much stress
or too much pressure.
Maybe I just cant deal with
the weight of the world
for too long.
Maybe thats the problem.
I simply can't handle life.
These migraines are warning signs
that my breaking point is near
and I need to just break myself away
from society,
for at least a couple moments
just to take a breather
and massage my temples
and calm down
and possibly even cry
because crying really does help sometimes
and tell myself that its going to be alright
and that I can handle this
and I can handle life.

These migraines really will be the death of me.

*~kns

I apologize for the style of this. It's not exactly a poem, but then again not much of anything I write lately is.

Kelsey Nicole Simmons Mar 2013

Backwards.

Have you ever
been suddenly awakened
from a dream
an illusion
that you thought was reality
but it wasn't
and everything you ever knew isn't
and the one you always called mom
suddenly isn't
and the one you never called dad
suddenly is
and the place that never felt like home
still isn't
but even more so now
and the place that was never home
but sometimes felt like it was
suddenly is
and everything is backwards
and everything is wrong
even though it's supposed to be right

this can't be happening
but it's happening

this is real

*~kns

Kelsey Nicole Simmons Mar 2013

Unrequited.

I will never forget
the first time I ever went to your house
and the way you gave me a tour
while holding me gently
from behind
hugging me the entire time
only causing us to stumble over
each others feet,
but we didnt mind,
we were always there to
catch each other
or fall together.
How could I forget the first time
that same exact night
that we first made love
and it was on your springy couch
at 2 in the morning
and the situation sounds
so wrong
but the moment felt
so right
and afterwards you looked at me
and you told me you loved me
for the very first time
and it felt so authentic
and it WAS so authentic
and I wanted to say it back
but the words were stuck in my throat
and the moment was shattered
but not to you
never to you
because you truly did love me
and you didn't care if I said it or not
because you knew the truth,
that I loved you too.
So now here we are
with me still loving you
and you not loving me back
and it hurts
because that night
just felt
so
right
but I couldn't have been more wrong.

*~kns

Kelsey Nicole Simmons Mar 2013

Chilling.

do you know how wonderful
your eyes are?
those beautiful eyes that are
more mysterious than the
corners of the universe,
that have more depth
than the deepest trenches
of the ocean
that are closest to the core
of the earth.
those frost-bitten irises that make my
thoughts stop cold in their tracks,
the blue that's so icy
it freezes my heart in place.
that bone-chilling gaze
that throws an avalanche of
memories and emotions
at me until I'm buried and
suffering from hypothermia.

*~kns

A little cliche, perhaps, but I don't think it turned out that badly.

Kelsey Nicole Simmons Mar 2013

Balloon.

(Read from the bottom up)
~kns

At the bottom.
Old news.
Dead.
Nothing but deflated.
Now I’m no one.
the sneering planes.
the disdainful clouds,
the sarcastic stars,
The mocking planets
Past the laughing heavens.
I’m falling now.
POP.
It backfires.
Everything.
Every ***** trick.
Every lie.
I use everything I have to get up there.
I struggle.
Higher.
Higher.
Higher.
I need to go
Yet, I’m not satisfied.
The imperfect heavens.
The shoddy planets.
The second-rate stars.
The mediocre clouds.
Beyond the substandard planes.
I’m at the top.
To dwell in the shining heavens.
To greet the egotistical planets.
To outshine the fading stars.
to test the pressure of the atmosphere.
my greedy desire,
I must fulfill my need,
Higher than any cloud has ever reached.
height.
To float higher than
height.
in a competition of
To beat each plane
than to go higher.
Nothing else matters
Higher.
Higher.
Higher.
I’m floating now.
Freedom.
I grab the chance to get out.
releases its grip.
It gets distracted and
some cruel being.
Chained to the ground by the claws of
At the bottom.

(start here)

— The End —