can you hear me screaming from beneath the surface?
can you help me find my way?
i am lost in the darkness,  i feel worthless.
my hope has gone astray.

Will you give me some
     puddy Tat?

Make me mark my territory *******
    as I love to hear your meowing, purring
so, I hiss away all competition,

display, both my pleasure and anger
     flicking my tail tip
deposit my pheromones with my cheeks

our yowls together a treasure resolving
     throughout the neighborhood under
a full moon backlight, Your soft neck in my teeth

awaking the witches and innocence gone
     with vocalizations: starting low pitched rising coming
back down. We always land on our feet.

We may be feral, wild prodigiously mate
         I done let go of your neck,
you retract your claws, we go our ways,

high from the catnip(ing) nap then.
       The queen struts away.
I tom the night , a stray, puppy cat.

sad child
where’s the love that made you
you withhold such a shattered canvas
with memories that decipher your path
you know not the comfort of peace
the sweet fragrance of freedom
has lost its taste
you know not of happiness
captured in teenage sappy
holograms of love’s collapsebility
humbles the kindness you had,
the focus you embodied,
the smile you embraced,
because of the sadness you carry.
severe depression made you whole
constant anxiety was your home
your mentality was wounded
your spirituality was fidgeted
your fragile soul
became, just, an unanchored spirit.

Sunset lonely thoughts
screaming words I long to say
in this energy of ecstasy.

Don't be fooled by:
My smile so bright.
My laughter so loud.
The shine in my eyes you say you like.

Because, my spirit is muted.
And my soul is feeling nothing but cold, alone and forlorn.

the direction to go paddling
         is the big question
obviously not upstream
           unless to outwit
my adversary.

Dolphin kick front crawl
            is the fastest with
head-up and both arms flailing
            to escape but tire,
perhaps, halfways
               to shore.

I chose and hold my
              breath, underwater
with my nostrils pinched,
          my lungs and heart
aching for the next breath.

So many die that way.
           Too many die with flailing.
I just closed my eyes and dived
             my head under all the waves.
I don't yet know if I
              survived or crossed
the river.

I am still holding
                       my breath.