Victoria Jennings

Victoria Jennings Oct 2023

You were the most addictive poison I've ever known.

I imagine it's similar to someone who's lactose intolerant

They can't deny how sweet and wonderful ice cream tastes on their mouth

But it's gonna hurt later.

Victoria Jennings Jul 2023

Addict

I wonder if this is how drug addicts feel after years of being clean

I'd still take a hit of you

The chemical reaction is just too strong

And I know it would ruin me

But the high would feel so good.

Victoria Jennings Jun 2023

Relapse

Nothing seems to be able to stop this feeling

Like a thousand weights are right on my chest

The whole world around me whirring by and I'm dazed

Frustrated that the pills aren't helping anymore and I'm thinking about my past

Depression is the worst whip lash one can experience and it's friend anxiety is not any better.

Victoria Jennings Mar 2023

Time Lapse

I remember when we were just tweens

And you called me one day out of the blue and I tried hiding in my closet so that no one would see just how giddy I was

So no one would know just how much one person could effect me

And now, today, we are complete strangers.

Victoria Jennings Mar 2023

Trapped

You're woven into my subconscious

I cannot wake up fast enough

Cannot blink away your image quick enough

I cannot escape.

Victoria Jennings Feb 2023

Unhealthy relationship

Let's pretend for a moment that I don't have a hormonal imbalance.

My mother was there for me but never emotionally

My father was never there for me at all

My first friend died when I was only seven

My first love broke my heart every way imaginable

So when I tell you food is the only thing that has been there for me, in ups and downs; understand that's why I am fat.

I have had nothing but food to rely on in my darkest times

Food is my mother, father, friend. Food is there for me when love isn't.

Victoria Jennings Feb 2023

Addiction

Addiction is a hard thing to overcome

Especially when it's a person

When the waves of nostalgia wash over me

I can't help but let out a sigh of relief

I relish in the past

In the things I can only scarcely remember

And yet that meant so much to me once

I don't know if it's chemical or I'm just insane

But I still have to peel myself away from those memories

Stop myself from reaching out

Because there's no turning back from the next hit and I refuse to start again

I refuse to let myself be broken by another person again.