And it stings

It stings from head to toe

The words you say

They hurt

They hurt each and every ounce of me

And you'll never understand that

When one mean thing

Sends me into depression.

Someone says your name
And I cringe

Like poison dripping from my ears and piercing my chest

The memories I've tried to bury deep within myself

So deep they almost touch all the trauma I've blocked out

I passively say
I hate that name

And resume my task

But for a few moments
I have to fight off the flashbacks

The replay of every moment I spent loving you

I fight back my feelings of angst knowing the man I sleep with now

Just doesn't give my heart quite the same ping you did

But I find solace in the saying that every love is different and I hold onto that when I crawl home to him and I'm greeted with an embrace.

Ring on my left hand

And I have the audacity to wonder

Do I love you

My heart aches when we fight

And I laugh when you do something silly

But sometimes I'm so unsure

And it makes me angry

No, it makes me feel guilty

Because last time I loved
I was so sure

So completely sure

And here I am

Ring on hand

Climbing into our bed

And wondering...

Is this love?

There's a gnawing in my chest
Whenever we argue
This immense pressure
Like at any moment the fragile pieces of my soul might just shatter
And this feeling stays after the argument
Picking at my every flaw
Waiting for me to bleed
Because tears just weren't good enough
This pressure is only alleviated when I smile again
But who will do that for me?