In my fingerprint, the thirteenth groove from the nail,
The one that curves neatly, until it breaks
(A scar, I think)
That's you.

There is a braincell in my skull that is red, not grey:
Red for love; red for anger; red for that STOP light that made me stall
(The kind of complete stop that scrambles up your nerves)
That's you.

Every eighteenth heartbeat is you.
Every flex of my left hand little finger is you.
Every wish on a lost eyelash, carried away by salty currents, is you.
Every swiftly sheared blade of grass  is you.
Every nerve ending in my lower lip is you.
Every cell of oxygen is you.

You are
Every
Hope
Every
Fear
Every
Dream
I ever had.

Put simply into words that in the end, are nothing;

You are everything to me.

You can be my ball of wax.
I'll roll you between my fingertips
until you're warmed and soft
and I can mold you.
Some are impressionists
or modernists
but I wanted to be a
realist.
So I made you in the image
of my reality.
Only I made you
taller,
kinder,
handsomer,
sweeter.
I shaped you
with so much
self-deception
and so much
failed perception.

You can be my boy of wax.
I made you in the winter
and you were strong
and solid
for a time.
But the summer came and you grew
smaller,
shorter,
quieter,
farther,
and you,
my artful manipulation
of
what I so
wanted
to create,
melted.

You can be my pool of wax,
a shapeless
well
of malformed memories
that change
with every touch.
I curl my knees to
my chest and
do my best to stop
prying and prodding you,
my pool of wax.
Because with every touch
it burns
my skin and turns
my fingers
an angry red.

I made you,
and I never
knew
that
a boy of wax
could unmake
me.

The bed's been alone,except for only I.
The big round red chair says he spent a long time talking to her that one night, when I was away.
The computer monitor won't share, what it saw went by.
And the shower head won't say that it saw us both cry.

My car said it saw her, before I took over
The garage door says nothing, but shelters me ever.
The dog just looks at me sadly misses him here
The pillow states it's been days since I shed one tear.

My coffee cup reports that it has seen me dancing
Alone to unwind, while the place gets cleaned out,
My wallet concurs, the new cards at me glancing
The car echoes softly I've been out and about.

The scale will echo that I've lost some weight
And on the stove, the omelet pan looks satisfied.
The fridge says some ales have met mysterious fate.
The eggs say their fellows have all been pan fried.

The dresser says hey, but his socks are still here?!
The mirror mumbles something, about a reflection
Not knowing the ending or where they will steer.
And all of them feel that it's one strange direction.

©November 06, 2006

Gone for a while, never saying goodbye.
Gone for a while, erasing you from my mind.
Wondering if you were looking into the sky,
on those nights when I realized you let me behind.

Gone for a while, I am fine now that your gone.
Gone for a while, the curtains have been drawn.

Appearing when you want, and vanishing when you please.
Don't you realize that you left me weak at my knees?
Thinking you can come ang go whenever
But you don't realize that I am far too clever.

I am lying in your lap
You are touching my *******
I rise to kiss you softly
I begin to rub your chest
Your hands have moved elsewhere
And a fire ignites inside me
Kissing harder, I grab you for stability
We’re sitting together now,
Groin to groin
You quickly lift me to the bedroom
To our private party no one else can join
You place me softly on the bed, kiss my shoulder
Remove my clothes slowly,
But I am no colder
The weight of your body and the warmth of your excitement flow over me
Our bodies match perfectly like puzzle pieces
There’s nowhere else on Earth I’d rather be
And I’m kissing you hard
You’re kissing me sweetly
Hands running across my skin
The expansive amount of sensitive space you’re about to be within
I’m holding onto you as you move over me
And suddenly we’re connected by the explosion in our favorite extremities
We’re moving in sync
The fire ignited has spread
At this moment I can barely think
The last thing I want to be using is my head
And I’m secretly loving you with every part of my being
Wishing I could tell you this as you’re secretly fleeing
For tomorrow I will wake to an empty bed
Not knowing what to think
Because we both silently agreed nothing ever needed to be said.

i can remember days spent,
grey, inside that old september house
with wooden floors and
whitewashed doors and a deck,
the forecastle of the ship
that was our house that
sailed towards the mountains.  

we watched the town obscure the view
as years passed by before us
and the light within the house grew
greyer with each passing day.
you said you'd found your home,
forever, but there came a day
we left, and brought all of our
things in boxes and we never
went back again.

so, what is it you love?
is it the days behind the door
as sharks swam out in the beyond?
is it watching, and listening, and
looking for something,
anything that's wrong?
it cannot be the way i lie
or leave for months unending
i'm a goose, a fling, a season
i can't stay around forever.

so tell me this great formula,
and i will see it through
i hate the thought that makes me cringe
of losing you.

she was the girl that everyone wanted
the reckless young rebel
who was a question mark to most
and an answer to others

she kept most things to herself
such as her secrets and her razor
for that's the way she coped
when everyone expects perfection
you have to be perfect

she was the one boys went after
but could never quite catch
her drinking was the infinity
and her smoking was a protest
she did not smoke to enjoy herself
but to die .