hand in hand you stood.
eyes to eyes you stared.
soul to soul you stopped.
for only a moment.
that's when you looked.
that's when you saw.
hidden behind her eyes,
those bright shades
seemed so dark.
without moving,
you leaned forward,
you stepped inside her eyes
to see what you could find.
through the gates,
into her mind,
and what a mind it was.
it went on and on and on,
from what you could tell.
it was filled with wonders
that you couldn't see.
this endless land behind her eyes
did not have
a single ray of light.

since then, whenever you could,
you would reach into her eyes
and fumble in the darkness of her mind,
grasping blindly
for a light switch.

i cut and paste line after line
from your book of tragedies
to patch up broken phrases
in my broken poetry

i carve out line after line
out of each of your words
while stones may break these bones
words can never *hurt

we exchanged the ringing in each others ears
wrote empty vows deep in each others hearts
the world spun faster, faster until it disappeared
"until december do us part"
"until december do us part"

two pairs of eyes
exchanging
static shocks
tiny sparks

  shaking hands
  aching heads
  cease to matter
  anymore

    pinpricks
    painless pain
    in skin
    in blood

      your heat is
      all that matters
      you're here
      i'm glad

there's  something
something in the stars
something in the trees
something in the oceans
something out there
out there among the mountains
out there among the rivers
out there among the canyons
something within me
within my bones
within my blood
within my soul
is it you?

i'm trapped between life and death and uncertainty
my head always feels like i'm stuck hanging upside down
a quantum dream in which anything is everything and nothing
reality seems to have been all but unwound
i'm coughing up smoke as i drown

the TV screen static
is burned to the insides
of my eyelids and now that is
all i see when i close my eyes

constantly dreaming,
but never asleep
it feels like i'm floating
but i'm sinking deeper and deeper
into my mind
leaving behind
all that i used to call real

countless epiphanies met in between train tracks
entropy and insanity conspiring to wear me down
walls full of polaroids and bottles of prozac
crying out for help in the middle of a silent town
i'm coughing up smoke as i drown

the microphone feedback
is stuck in my ears
when the sky is jet black
the noise refuses to disappear

constantly dreaming,
but never asleep
it feels like i'm floating
but i'm sinking deeper and deeper
into my mind
leaving behind
all that i used to call real

concertos played on
nothing but black keys
incandescent light bulbs
dangling from trees
i'll write about this wonderland
if i ever make it home

**i'm leaving behind
all that i used to call real