I fell in love with you,
first with your soul,
then with everything else,
because everything else
was a part of your soul,
the way your eyes sparkled,
the way you laughed and smiled,
the way you spoke what you felt in your heart,
the way you felt both joy and pain so deeply,
you showed me your faults,
you accepted mine,
you made sure I was okay,
you helped me when I wasn't,
you showed me things you were passionate about,
you made me laugh when I was sad,
you were honest,
you were real,
you were you.
All that you were,
all that you did,
was a part of your soul,
with which I fell in love.

Perfect, imperfect lines,
Etched into already stinging skin,
New, bleeding lines,
Where the old ones are starting to fade,
Deep, red lines,
Never letting scarred skin truly heal,
Uniform, horizontal lines,
Each with a reason.

Each red line will fade to pink
Be replaced by new ones
But once a line is made
It never truly leaves.

It's better to burn out bright,
than to fade away.
Better to be swallowed in an inferno,
than to be swallowed in emptiness.
Better to leave behind smoke and ashes,
than to disappear without a trace.
Better to leave the world with a reminder of you,
than to leave as anonymous as when you began.

What is this that I'm feeling?
Just a chemical reaction?
Dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin?
Is this all just a science?
Something that can be manufactured in a lab?

It can't be.
How can something that feels so real be so easily fabricated?

I've dug myself into this valley,
Surrounded by walls of dirt,
The light of the sun is all but lost,
I am trapped in emptiness and darkness.

I cannot escape,
I can only dig deeper,
So I do, I dig deeper into the darkness
And I don't know why.