I gazed up into the night sky,
staring in wonder at the beautiful stars.
My eyes fixed upon them,
I fell in love with their silver glow.

I began to stop fearing the night,
my radiant stars shone through the darkness.
They drowned out my demons,
they flooded my soul with their light.

But the good things cannot last,
can they?
This world must destroy
all that is valuable.

And so it was.
The skies began to crumble,
and my stars began to fall,
plummeting from their celestial home.

I stretched out my arms to catch the stars,
to save them from the freezing ground.
I caught them, and oh, how  they burned!
Those beautiful stars, so gentle, so fiery!

But I held them, none the less,
to save them from the harsh, dead earth.
I let them burn away at my skin,
my beloved beacons of hope, became my agonizing downfall.

To sink, is to fall -
slowly and agonizingly,
longing for death -
an escape from the pain.

HELP!
Why can't I just die?

The deeper I sink,
the fewer people can save me,
and the fewer people try.
I am left to sink into the darkness and the cold.

Every breathless moment feels like an eternity.
I struggle to force the freezing water out of my lungs.

Here, I am doomed to remain -
forever sinking deeper,
constantly dying, never dead.
Unless...

Someone can dive down into the depths,
and pull me out of my prison,
my grave.

Please...
Save me...

You can not focus,
Your mind is dull,
Overcome by the dreary pain
setting into your skull.

You close your eyes,
You rest your head,
You take a pill to ****
the pain that you dread.
...

My demons scream,
My soul it cries,
As darkness creeps through
my dying mind.

I hurt myself,
I cry "Help me!",
I'm waging a war that
no one can see.

What a headache is to you
is not what a headache is to me.

Long, thick sleeves,
pulled all the way over my hands,
in the dead heat of August

Forcing light into my eyes,
so that my fake smile doesn't look
completely dead

The knot in my chest when I shower,
because the hot water stinging my cuts
is a cruel reminder of my pain

Words, written on a paper,
kept in my desk drawer -- secret -- because I have
no one to tell

Hands shaking, as I drag the blade across my flesh,
because pain is the only thing
I can feel anymore

Do you still think I just want attention?

Surrounding me was a hurricane
of pain, sadness, and anger.
There I stood, trapped in the eye,
engulfed in numbness, emptiness, and static.
My only escape was through the torrent of agony around me.

Many times, I tried to escape that silent sea of grey by fighting my way through the walls of my prison, hoping against hope to break through and find joy on the other side,
But I became lost in the raging torment and was forced to return to my cell.

Many times, simply wanting to feel something other than the dullness that had become my reality, I grit my teeth, and force myself into the swirling void of misery, to feel pain once more. Until the torture was unbearable and I retreated to the emotionless abyss.
I needed the pain to remind me that I was still alive.

Many times, when the pace of the traveling storm quickened, I was forced to run to remain within the calm nothingness, but I continued to trip and fall back into the darkness and pain until I could regain my step.
Then, I pressed on, at the mercy of the unforgiving cyclone.

I lived like this for what seemed like an eternity.
Until one day.

The wind slowed, slightly, I saw a beam of light for a fraction of a fraction of a second.
It was gone all too soon, and now I am left to constanly search my heart and mind for that one thing that may calm this storm and free me from

my prison,

my hurricane.

I had always been afraid to fly
I looked up to the sky, wondering "what if?"
That's when I saw you
Always flying, afraid of falling.
You looked down at me, I looked up at you,
Each so fixated with the other,
We forgot that we were also gazing at our greatest fears.
I asked you to come down and be with me,
But you refused, for fear of falling down to the unforgiving ground.
You asked me to fly up and be with you,
But I couldn't bring myself to soar towards the terrifying skies.
So, there we stayed,
Me staring up at you, you staring down at me,
Longing, and forever wondering,
"what if?"

My eyes -- they were too dry to cry anymore,
So I forced tears of red from my wrists.

My heart -- It was too numb to feel anymore,  
So I took a blade to my flesh, seeking the strongest feeling I knew: pain, a reminder that I was alive and human.

My legs -- They were too weak to carry me anymore,
So I collapsed, falling back into my old, self-destructive habits.

My mind -- It was too clouded to think anymore,
So I chased away the sickly fog with a hurricane of pain, and fought through the storm, until I found what I sought: the eye, my relief.