They told me not to get involved
                 it wasn't for me to be meddle
Don't say anything
                 it will blow over
I didn't say a thing

She giggled and laughed
                he smiled and flirted
I was told not to say anything
                this can be skirted
I didn't say a thing

I was told to keep quiet
                "you don't want to lose him
because he thinks you're clingy"
                 I shouldn't have listened
I didn't say a thing

I lost what was mine
                 to a girl with no morals
she took off with his heart
                 and left me regretful
*I wish I said something

I lie beside you
breathing

I try to remember
thinking

I want to give
feeling

I can't help you
loving

And still I lie beside you
the world in my head
still revolving, turning
as it grinds away my brain

You lie beside me
blissfully unaware
of the insanity that approaches me
creeping

If only you would tell me to breathe
and stop thinking
because you have a funny feeling
and you think it is me you love

All this inside me
while I lie beside you
breathing
and feeling
and thinking
and loving
someone who may not love me.

He won't go
He won't go
I whisper to the dark
lying on my back, arms crossed
of course he is going

He'll visit me
He'll visit me
I mumble to the shadows
trembling, trying to stay composed
I'll never see him again

He will call everyday
He will call everyday
I cry out to the moon
tears cascading down my face
I'll never hear his voice again

My nose plugs
My throat swells
My body quivers
and breathless sobs escape me

*That night I dreamed of all that could have been

The moon falls lower, the night almost at an end.
It does not cry for fear of shaking the water's surface.
It does not shine its light upon the grass, in fear of seeing its face.
It does not breathe, in fear of scaring the wind.
It hides. It runs.
In fear of the sun it can not be.

I have a book.
            In this book I keep my heart.
    My heart was inked with a quill.
A quill made of a peacock feather.
                    This feather I found in the rain.
In the rain is also where I found you.
                                            found love.
I bet you didn't know it...
*but you are the author of that book

The warbling calls
of the peace and the calm
seem pacified and subdued
far from the ears of man

The shattered cries
of the cacophony and the chaos
too loud and incessant
close to the thoughts of youth

With blood spilled,
splashed over years
of adversity and trial,
we stand tired and stained
waiting for everyone
-else-
to change

To see the world through
a peaceful gaze
is to see the world in beauty

A beauty that is not often attained.

What would you do if I were to lay in your lap?

Would you stroke my face?
Run your fingers through my hair?
Cross your arms over your chest?
like you don't care

Would you whisper things softly to me?
Tell me a story?
Pretend I'm not even there?
like I am not your worry

Would you tell me to sleep, I am safe.
Just tell me to sleep?
Suggest I sleep on the window?
like you wish to fore-go

Tell me, what would you do if I laid in your lap?

What a lovely feeling, to be tangled up in you.
When my world was nothing, if not blue.
You doubt your any help
But every time you do, I melt
Stop thinking you are nothing
Come over here and be my everything

The song bird sings the song
of your voice

The leaves rustle sounding
like the rustle of sheets

The wind's cries mimic
cries of simple pleasures

The memories remembered by time
remind me of your memory

The peaceful calm of nature
lies heavily on the calming peace
of love

***** socks
     cast aside like
Lizard hide
     you hide behind
Little meant
     the words you said
Ended life
     *with a blow like death

Every day is a day closer to
the day that I lose
half of who I am

A day closer to the day
I watch my better half
just stride away

A day closer to the day
my soul tears in two
half for me, half for you

A day closer to the day
my whole world falls apart
when you walk away
with my stolen heart

And a day closer to the day
when I will be forced to forget
what my body remembers,
and my mind will regret

I lash out
so you say
and you take it
day by day

I am hard to impress
so you say
but you continue to mess
one day at a time

I bite, I claw, I poison
Poison your thoughts
with feelings of love
and distress
what a test

Patiently you wait for the moment
when you will get what you came for
then you will leave in a flash of
uncut threads
and webs

Who really wears the hourglass?

Drive me to the end
the end of days
of light
of faith

Hold the key
the key to life
to love
to happiness

Remember your promises
promises of longevity
of fulfillment
of hope

These things
they wound
they hurt
they pain
You have wronged me
and for that
I shall do what's in my power
to be free

Oh Higher Power please!
-Please tell me what I need to know.
Why does my love for him not grow?

Is it stoppered with a blackened promise?
A hateful word, an unfaithful kiss?
Is there something to which I am amiss?

I do not wish to linger here,
drowning in what seems unclear
while suspicion does provoke a tear.
Oh, tell me what I need to hear...

I shall take whatever you care to tell
in the hope that my tears such knowledge will quell,
for not knowing shall inevitably drive me to my hell
Oh Higher Power please...

~Please tell~

The birds and the bees?
How did they even get associated?
Maybe it should be the dog and the fleas...
but why sit back while one does the work?

No that won't work

What about the bear and the bees?
but its not good to be at war
oh, such a tease

This is a tease

I know why it's called the birds
and the bees
Maybe because it isn't suppose to make sense
because in love, things rarely go with ease
but hey...

...*Love is the bee's knees.

Hear the words roll off
            his oiled tongue
Sweet song spills from
            his cunning mouth
Promises ooze from
            his chattering teeth

Be aware.
Not everything you hear
is a melody.

You can live
or you can die trying

You can love
or you can hate after it

You can forgive
or you can brood forever

You can see
or you can be blinded by the truth

You can live with honor
or be consumed by it

You can laugh
or you can cry.

For all these things,
I hope you smile.

Whatever lines you choose to live by
or even those between...
you can be at peace
or at war with yourself.

How real reality can be
When it slaps you in the face
after you slap a book closed

The world you lived in for days
the world you love
the world that's familiar
ends.

You are alone
in a world you hoped to escape
so you sit and wonder.

What can I do?
What is there to do?
Life seems so... unworthy
un worthy of you.

And then a book catches your eye
and you read, the first page...
just to see
then the first chapter...
just to make sure
then the first part...
just to be certain
then you take it home
and you make it your new world

A viscious, unforgiving,
but gloriously enlightening cycle

Is there something deeper
when I touch your hand?
Do you tingle
when my lips brush yours?
Does it burn pleasantly
when my skin sweats with your own?

I need a fire
to keep me warm
to give me life
to remind me I'm human

I need a fire
between us
between our hearts
between the lines

Will you kindle a fire that will not burn out with ease?
Will you risk getting burned?
Will you favour the cold?

I possess more love
Than that which I confess
But I speak not often of such
For should I happen to falter
I fear it would test
the faith of the rest
and doubt would shadow what's left

When...

I say "I Love You"
Do not be disheartened when that is all I offer
But enlightened
For under sound of tongue
are feelings to be sung

And so...

I veil more love
Than one seems to entail
But only because
I may not confess
what I possess

The mindless ticking of your watch
rests behind my ear
it mocks my being here
it knows you have to go

tick-tick-tick-tick
only-5-more-minutes
tock-tock-tock-toc­k
he's-going-to-leave

Arms and legs slide away from me
they rustle the sheets
they seem louder than creaks
a foot hits the ground

Something wet touches my forehead
I shake
I tremble
And you leave me with an empty bed

I heart
           thats smart
I love
          not so smart
You're great
                    just wait
You're beautiful
                            how fanciful
I love you
                 is that true?
I'm not sure
                    you're on a tour
I think i'm free
                         you're not, believe me
You don't own me
                                just wait you'll see
Are we over?
                      
Of course.

You happen to be one
It's bright in your eyes
evident in your movements
thick on your breath
as savoury as your flavour

                                                   Tantalizingly deadly
                                                    you're bad for my health
                                                             my soul
                                                                           my virtue
                                                                                            my conscience
                                                    my heart sees you differently
                                                   -"keep trying, he will love, he will... will"

We are caught in a battle of will
Will his heart open?
Will his hold on me falter?
Will it be to late?

                                                          I am entangled with a
                                                          Deadly Sin
                                                          He is lust
                                                          I am defenseless

I'm falling awake
yes it can be done
wakefulness falls upon you
just as effectively as sleep
your mind clears
your eyes flutter
you yawn
It is very possible to fall awake

I especially enjoy falling awake
to grinace at you,
yes, grinace.

You are in control
I thought maybe I was
         oh boy was I wrong

I thought I had the upper hand
the only reason it was upper
        was because you pinned it there

I mirror your movements
because mirror is all I can do
         if I am to keep up with you

Take control
Take the lead
        take me

I can't remember now
If it was the water rushing over my face
or the blood rushing hot through my veins

I can't remember now
Who's skin was who's
or which tongue was which
  
I can't remember now
if you held me against the tiles
or if I held your heart against my chest
maybe both?

All I remember
Is the way you feel
soaking wet
close to me

All I remember
are hungry kisses
strong hands
on my waist

All I remember
is you pulling me closer
wet hands running down
my wet body


Maybe I remember
more than I think

You reside inside my mind
for my eyes have never looked upon thee
yet well I know- you are handsome

You live in my nerves
my skin has never met yours
yet I feel you in every movement

You've taken my mouth
I have never felt your lips
but your taste is overwhelming

You reign in my ear
never have I heard your voice
yet in my head it rings

You govern my nose
thys scent hath never trespassed
now all I smell is you

Something has happened to me
Now all I have is you

I have the tendency
of getting very physical
It's getting harder to breathe
for you that's literal

Does it hurt?
Burn?
****?
Does it weaken your will
to learn that I have all the control?

Do you lust?
Ache?
Yearn?
Do you want another turn,
want to go till you break?

I'm happy to oblige
but can't be held responsible
if no one can do it better
-for that I am not liable

The monster sneers
       you succumb
give up
            give in
The monster has total control
        of you
the situation
             your body
The monster is utterly devious
         holding you fast
pleasing you secretly
              manipulating your lust
The monster has what it wants
          your finished
satisfied
               writhing in a naked sweat

That monster
~is me~

Violence hangs over my head
irrational like wine
heavy like lead

How am I to choose love
over love?
Heart over heart?

If fair is foul
how am I to survive
the foul that is fair?

You attach tethers to my life
One pulls left
one right
One tugs up
one down

Am I to be what's left in the middle?

I wept a tear for you
A single, glistening droplet

Shunned from my eye
it cried as it fell
left me with a memory
as though it had a tale to tell

As it teetered on my nose
gravity ended its sovereignty of sorrow
and it fell again
this time to greet my pillow

There it remains
I can't believe I wept a tear for you

The taste of *****
makes you intoxicating

  A touch of fire
has me burning

  You smell of height
it draws me closer

  I hear you swoon
it spins the room

  We look in blur
it turns us around

I am drunk off your kisses
I burn with your touch
I'm high from your smell
I blush when you speak
And your gaze turns me weak

This is what you do to me

We cling to the skin
of the knowledge we possess,
and believe it is us.

Our truths are riddled with lies,
Our lies belie the truth,
and we are left with empty
thoughts and broken promises.

Remember that the mind was meant
to be opened to the world.
It was meant to receive
as well as to expel
thoughts.

Be not tied to one understanding,
for you may find
the world will be looked upon
with misunderstanding.

Lie in bed with me
                   For here my thoughts can flutter-
Become weightless but are not gone
For that I need you

Your hot pulse against
    My cold aura
                            ignites a light
that plays friendly hide and seek
                            with the dark
Because our deepest desires
            are those which shadows do hide

When the sun cries silently
and weeps across the sky
emotion shall crawl down my face
Us
    this bed does not wish to deny

Thou art thine wings
        For souls do fly
             Unto thee

SIlence is often louder than words
For words are cheap and influenced
But we can shout louder
We can be heard
Without a word

Silence is power
and often
Silence has its very own voice

Dog eared pages
betray my thoughts
or rather the lack there of

I think
then blink
But i'm thinking faster
or is it blinking?
It doesn't matter
Nothing is working

Inspiration dances
Romances
entrances
like a cornish pixie
teases

My muse has gone
his return I await
with bated breath
I wait like fate

Favorite things are fickle
the thoughts trickle
from your mind
and you step in a pool
of what once was divine

I wonder how long I
will stay upon your mind
how long shall I grace your thoughts
before you hit rewind?
Or maybe you'll press fast forward
...just forget about our time

Time will be our test
To outlast the rest
I want to be your best

So will you get your feet wet?
What will you regret?
Whatever you may think
I'll hold your heart
don't fret

I wonder what it sounded like
To hear a bullet whizz by your head?

I wonder what it felt like
When you realized you still had another day.

I wonder why you did it
why you put your life at risk.

I wonder what you were thinking
as your bullet swallowed a life.

And I wonder what you thought
when you realized you were going home.

The glory of war all but evaporated
With every round you shot
The spoils faded slowly
With every drop you spilt

The events that haunt you daily
Will try to make you fall
Your past will try to tag you
And so you build a wall

Your safe, no fear, no death
But you still fear death in safety
The poppy stills your thoughts
So you wear one
Remembering

I wait for your kiss.
A soldier standing on duty.
A touch putting me at ease.
Silently I guard what is left
of my heart.

And I wait
For a sign.
A small child at the crosswalk,
watching for the red hand
to fade away,
So I can go.

I wait for a sound.
A sprinter on the track,
the snap of a bullet,
a race for the ages.

I wait for the thing
that I want the most.
And I wait for the day,
when I know what I want.

I wait,
For you.

Forever is a big word
Forever has a lot of letters
Many people can spell it
Few can spell it right

It is promised
It is lost
It belongs in our vocabulary
But is rarely understood

Forever is used with good intentions
Until good intentions
Stab us through the heart

Use carefully
Use wisely
Mean what you say
Say what you mean

Love
Is a forbidden word
Unless you mean it
truly.

                                  Love
                                  Is so untouchable
                                  Unless you grasp it
                                  firmly
Love
Is an emotion
Unless you feel it
thoroughly
                                  Love
                                  Lust
                                  Life
                                  Learn
Love
shouldn't be used
unless it is felt from
the heart
                                   Why?
                                   We have a short life to live
                                   why waste it
                                   waiting
Love is yours
Love is there
Love is life
Take it

I am Deadly
        For I tempt the soul
I am Bewitching
        For I believe the ******
I am Corruption
        For I sway the mind
I am Loneliness
        For I leave you broken
I am Dangerous
        For I tear the heart
I am Sinful
        For it seems to good to be true
I am a Sword
        And I am double edged

There is a certain lure
About a forbidden fruit
A mentallity with no cure

We want what we are denied
yearning for
that which we are deprived

The desire becomes a lust
Hunger becomes insistant
Sate it we must

A lure with no cure
Being denied and deprived
Sweet lust, which tend we must

The picking of forbidden fruit
the inability to resist
Continue on down this path
To find your problems root

I have an awesome friend.
He is rather cool,
or so he thinks....

But I love him anyvays.
Because he loves me.
We're buds.

Whatever life happens to feel
like throwing in our face,
I know he'll always be there,
he's kinda fixed in place.

Actually, I find him cool
despite what others may think.
He's so cool in fact,
he's one of the reasons I go to school.

So here's to my friend Dustin,
without him I'd be lost/
I know i'll always keep him
no matter what the cost.

Thank heavens for abnormality,
thank heavens no one is true,
without it i'd be just as insufferable as you.

I'm glad we are all different,
glad i'm not like you,
otherwise, my life would be rather blue.

Praise the air of uniqueness,
praise our inconsistancies,
if I was you, i'd blow out my knees.

I hate you,
They way you are.
I'm glad i'm not like you.
I'm glad we're dissimiliar.

Let's put it this way,
Thanks heavens to abnormailty,
Without it, i'd be just as insufferable as you.

There is a cut on my chest.
You put it there

There is a tear in my heart.
It is you

There is a scar left behind.
It was you

Then you walked away
You broke me

My heart
My mind
My soul
My will

You cut a hole in my chest and tore the scar tissue away
You left and swore to me
That you would mend
The cut and the scar
That you would heal
The torn strings of my heart.

You lied.
But thats ok.
Because you tried.