I'm cold.
These quilts do nothing for me.
I shiver and shake.
Ice grips, will I be free?

My dreams are warm.
Your hot body touches mine.
I tremble and quiver.
We lay here intertwined.

I wake lonely.
I wake cold.
You were never here.
There is no one to hold.

I am cold.
My mind is warm.
I wait for my dream to unfold.

I wait here in the cold.

For all that I am,
I know not just what that is

For all that I am not,
My curse is to see it all

To look deep within myself,
to find all that I am
seems a task.

To watch the world
and see all that I am not
is far too easy.

I live with naive thoughts
to keep from untangling
my own inner knots.

My mind whirs and my heart beats
My bones creak
My stomach lurches
My organs motor on.
Yet, for all of this,
I am calm.
I am serene.
I sit quietly,
despite my machine.

Busy,
no time to think, just work, progress, complete.
No room for thought.

So stop,
just think about what you're doing
not what you're doing
but what you're REALLY doing.
Don't you realize?

Wonder a moment,
how you work, how you speak, how you eat.
How does it work? DNA, it codes for proteins
it makes enzymes, that aid in reactions
that make you move, speak, think
You didn't even realize.

Amazing,
that's what we are. The potential in us is
ASTOUNDING
we are powered by tiny cells, with tinier things going on
but it's so small, we often forget how big it really is.
Cool eh?

Busy?
so stop, and just wonder a moment.
Isn't it amazing when you think about it?
The way you work, the way you move?

Now get busy.

Long breaths and long thoughts
we start our conversation

Short breaths and long thoughts
you tell me things I don't want to hear

Short breaths and short thoughts
I panic after every word you say

Long breaths and short thoughts
I try to calm my nerves

Long breaths and Long thoughts
*I realize we'll be fine in the end

My mind has once again
Taken up residence in the gutter.
Even my pen won't work;
It coughs and hacks and sputters.

My body aches with untold stories
Even now, my fingers twitch.
I feel so compressed,
All my thoughts, they've begun to itch

My hiatus of the mind
Has gone on far too long.
I need to feel the flow again,
Because without poetry, I feel wrong.

Asocial?
I've never seen it.
Maybe long ago, when a shy smile
sent us down the longest mile.

Talkative?
So he calls me.
Maybe I was at a time.
I said "I love you..." and suddenly we climbed.

Caring?
I just know it.
His trustworthiness knows no bounds.
I stubbornly doubt, but he pulls me out,
He always makes sure we avoid the drought.

Beautiful?
He likes to say.
The sun in his eyes, he assumes beauty
Lies underneath the blinding brilliance.
I fear my fun exterior has him in a trance.

Humorous?
Beyond belief.
My brutal honesty could never maim
His clever wit, nor put it to shame.

So who is he?
He lives in the future, restless and unsettled.
He lives in my mind, alive and real.
He is all that I need,
I just have to wish and hope and plead.