Driving me crazy...
A nasty, unwelcome longing,
pulling on me, dragging me lower,
down to a very lonely place.

Only your smile...
I never got to see it for real, just a pixelated version.
I wish I could have touched it as it spread leisurely
across your face.
Only your smile can make me lighten up
after cold, dark thoughts,
A little ray of sunshine on a gloomy day!

Maybe one day...
I can stand next to the sun,
and watch as it smiles at me with such warmth.
A beautiful glow looking at me lovingly.
Oh!
I should be so lucky...

Or should I?
Perhaps I'm blinded by the sun.
Perhaps I should look away...

We fight and it is so heated
we say things that hurt and sting
we pang with pain and malvolence
And then we say goodbye.
Not, "Good bye hunny! Love you lots!! <3"
No.
Our good bye is brief and harshly punctuated.
And then we huff and puff and stew
Then we ask questions
At first they are angry questions, ones with no answers
"Why is he/she such a ******* *******?" "Why is he/she so stupid?"
And we stew some more...
Then we ask the right questions.
"I wonder why he/she feels that way.." "Why did I say that?"
And we stew, but in a different way now.
We think with our brains instead of our emotions.
And we begin to realize something important
We do not fight because we want to antogonize.
We fight because we are afraid of losing one another. Afraid of saying the last goodbye.
We mull that thought over and I don't know about you
but tears begin to escapre from my eyes and fall gently to my pillow.
Not racking sobs, just small, meaningful tears
I'm sad because I hurt you
I cry because I really hope I didn't make you cry.
I am sorry and I guess what I really want
is to say that to you.

*I'm so sorry...

Drenched
with lonliness
Spun
until confused
Tossed
until my heart was dry

Yeah, you left me high and dry
Abandoned like the search for your lost sock
and whats worse
*forgotten...

I remember when you wagged your tail
How could I not? It seemed like you never stopped.

I remember when you pushed me into a snow bank
How could I not? I went to school frozen solid.

I remember when you let me use you as a pillow.
How could I not? You gave me fleas.

I remember when we used to go for walks.
How could I not? We discovered so much together.

I remember when you were always my best friend.
How could I not? You were the one that I could count on.

I remember when you died.
How could I not? I have never been the same since.

When your tail stopped wagging
is when my heart stopped beating as strong
as it used to beat when you were my best friend.

I will give you a present.
Not bought
Not pretty and gift wrapped in silvery paper
Not shoved in a box with a card on top

I will give you an idea.
Gift wrapped in words
Only thought of, not thought through
You can make it your own

Take my gift and make it something special.
take that idea and make it something magical.

Then wrap it in words and re-gift it.
I won't mind
Spread the ideas and watch as they blossom.

A gift can be more than a material object.
It can be creativity that changes the world...
...one idea at a time

I cry in the face of the moonlight
and watch as the firelight
dances in spite of the porchlight
I know that this is just right

Your memory taunts
haunts and flaunts
while my breath
is caught

I laugh in the face of distance
and giggle as resistance
is ironic in this instance
and I know this is a good trance

Your memory taunts
haunts and flaunts
while my breath
is caught

I am in need of no other
these miles won't bother
all because I would rather
have you than another

*Your memory taunts
haunts and flaunts
while my breath
is caught

I see the way you look at me
your eyes longing for the face they cannot touch

I know the way you think
your mind imagining the possibilties they cannot have

I feel the way you move
your body trying to remember what is has not ever had

I see you, I know you, I feel you
I cannot have you
not right now
not now
not...

You see me watching you
imagine me thinking about you
knowing that I see you

It is almost to much
almost

But not yet.