If only the world had a corner for all these feelings to be thrown out. The suffering has crushed me down again and the thought of breathe seems hopeless. The only action that does not cross with my feelings to survive is now a burden to me too. I need reassurance and a little bit of effort, I am capable of understanding that nothing stops a person from getting what they want.. why can’t I get to you? And what is this determination of putting your ego and pride above me. If only you knew how the sunsets and sunrises come in action by the sound of your voice. I just hope that I’ll find my getaway from these trapped feelings that drain every optimism left in me. Im trapped and I am surely trapped in a cage of trouble.

You live in the back of my head. Your presence is never there but you have the ability to rise again into my life when I believed it is time to let go.
You are me and I am you, you have to come to conclusion that we are one soul in two bodies. In two different pains and in two different poetry’s.
Dear god help me lose the theory of you living in my soul, because it always goes back to you, the theory of you.

I found your soul tipping around my memory, your graceful voice and your warm touch too. Everything about you came leaning towards my sunlight..shadowing my comfort and rapturing my intentions. Nothing about you is understandable and that is why we admire everything we seem to never understand. You are the concept of the rainbow radiance after a gloomy rain shower, a reminder that faith and hope is still out there. I'd water you a thousand times with affection and consideration because you bloomed my passion and target in life. It is so easy for me to have a delicate compassion towards you cause your wings flew my way and arrowed me down, you pinned me down and I am more than happy to be shackled under your name. To have my memory run after your name is spoken aloud is a delightful dignity itself. I have come to you with all satisfaction and I will go on contented with the faith that has been written with you.

I have been awfully fed a spoon full of insecurities due to unsteady thoughts and feelings. I'm overwhelmed with a tender feeling I have towards you..But I wonder if the love I'm willing to give will make you as pleased as the memory of her. Will I have to worry if I stared through your eyes and read her name instead of mine? Or If you accidentally saw her in a crowd and dazed into your imagination and slowly slipped your fingers out of mine? excuse me while my deepest fears come dominating every inch of confidence I had or us. Deep down we both know its a one in a life time type of love that ******* me and it would never be me. It must be a curse for me to continuously fall for someone who has not completely let go of a memory or past. There is something so tragic and magnetic towards me that I have to face. What would it take me for you to believe that I am a free spirit and I can drive you crazy?I just long and pray that after all this.. your thoughts would never compare me to what you had and what you have, cause in my mind.. these thoughts are chasing me like a figure eight.

I died a thousand times when you looked my way with these words rippling down your adored lips saying "You see way too much good in people you forget there is ever any bad.. and that is what crushes you completely". I did not know how you were able to read me off so terribly, to see the side of me I chose not to speak. I guess I'm hopeless at concealing my weaknesses and I'm only praying that I'd be able to conceal what I see in you. I've been losing sanity lately and you do not come close to curing my foolishness with all these words that dress me with butterflies and flowers.

I’m finally writing this to say this is not about you anymore, this not about your memory, your glory, or silhouette. This is not about the way you made me feel grace in ways I never thought existed. This is not about the way you held me close and gave me promises that were burned out with your lovely lies. This is not about the way your eyes looked beyond this exterior of mine, and this is definitely not about the way you held me close to your heavenly arms and made shelter for me out of them. This is not about the way I see you in every little detail I come across in my life anymore. It is not about the way every song that caught me reminded me of how things used to be from our side, or your name appearing throughout these lines. You have to believe me when I say this is not about you, because I believe in everything you do. If you can believe in me, you can believe in these words that are persuading me that It’s not you.  Deep down we both know what this is about, and some things are better left unknown.

you put me through so much love, I would not bear the thought of you throwing me out in the open and forcing me to face and feel struggles I never requested for, but you eventually did. I recall a little phrase I once heard that goes with the amount of love you feel towards someone will be the amount of pain you will feel tomorrow and I cannot help but feel no guilt about any feeling I felt with you. The bliss in pain never felt so satisfying until you came across me in life. How is it that even when there is this blank in between us, thrill keeps filling the void and keeps dragging me back towards you. How is it that even when you show me your inferior flaws I still keep reminding you the story of when we first fell in love and how all these flaws are adventurous chapters to our novel. Even when you show me all your layers of twisted that’s within you.. I become so devoted to anything dim that suits the shade of gloom that layers you. You see, all that tenderness I sensed towards you never really faded away but and if only buts weren't existent in this case you did fling me to another side that was no where close to your presence, and you used my weakness of not being capable of leaving your side no matter what circumstances could do to us. You put me on a journey of mental state that not even myself could speak of. Although it hurts to turn back to pages of pain. I only learnt that the amount of suffer I felt was the amount affection I held, and I hope when you fall for the next you would so call Love of my life that would be the journey that I am writing you about.

The difference between wanting someone and needing someone is that once you've met that one person, and you have similar interests.. Thats the starting point of wanting to know more about a person, growing fond of them and learning more about the depth of their souls. Wanting someone is kind of like when you lay your feet by the see and you walk some steps deeper to feel the other side of the deeper see and how the sand feels different. Its a matter of wanting but knowing your distance and limits and control. Needing is something else, needing is when you wake up everyday having to know whether that person is breathing the same second you are right now. Needing is when you know a persons darkness and ray of light and you need that in your life.. For your mornings and nights. So basically needing is when you know you cant leave a person behind because their peaces fit perfectly into yours, their atoms were made to fit yours and you kinda cant change that in a persons making.

She lived for the thrill and she loved what she was. She made sure she walked past everyone turning hearts before turning heads. She was a riddle walking down with chiller eyes and a killer with delicate hands. She made sure she would touch peoples lives with her warm aurora but left a mark once left. Many around her don't know the depth of her imagination and her soul as much as she did, and even she did not know how it kept getting deeper by the day. She would talk to you for years and warm your cold day with her velvety soul, but if she left you for a second, you would misplace all the puzzles you put together of her. She was the split second of the understanding of life, and if she left, it was as if your eyes shut off to the darkness. She was that close soul that lives in you but the furthest you can ever try to hold on to. She was the thrill to your long blue depressing days and the light after a thousand rainy days. She would take care of you long after you did her wrong because she longed the feeling of care for herself. She was the ray of light thats flaming far away from the tunnel yet, every time you came closer to it, it seems to gloom away. She's the furthest inspiration you can see and the closest lose you could feel.

I bet you're wondering what A weird thing to be spoken about, touch? we all know what touch is. We all know how touch is one of the multitude 5 senses a human can have, we all know how it can make us or break us, but they don't know about your touch. They don't know that once you decide to touch anything around you, life appears from it. They don't know how once you touch any living and non living thing around you, the world glooms up and throws bliss into everyones souls. The day you brushed your hands into mine.. I knew how god created rainbows and how every shade gradually shifted to the other simply taking our breaths away. The day you brushed your hands on my face, I knew why god put the stars in the sky. How could one possible touch of yours bring back life to a person who is already living? Have I been living the wrong kind of feels before you? How could a touch of yours let me doubt all my years before you.. is this some kind of sorcery? I know that if I live by your touch forever, I will have that rainbow that gradually shifts into breathtaking colours in my everyday life. I know that if You let me by your side forever holding your hands, I will forever remember why god put those stars in our sky and appreciate every reason for it. It's your touch that brought me sane, hope, compassion and warmth within my life.

As I sit here listening to Coldplay and remembering the lost memory of you, I realize what a great fault i've made to let you go without a second thought. I do not believe in regret but I do believe in great loss and greater longing for the presence and thought of you in my life.
1. You were there through my mornings and nights shifting my moods through your meaningful music
2. You shared every happy thing going on in your life with me and I was selfish enough not to appreciate your effort
3. We would not usually talk everyday, but when you do, you remind me why the stars were put in the sky for people to appreciate its significance once gone in the morning, just like that star.. Your presence was appreciated once the night came, and just like the sun rose the next morning.. i lost you in the depth of my selfishness to the not of my messy life.

I've always connected my soul to materialistic things that can not hurt me back. I felt like as long as it doesn't feel..I'll be safer, see how afraid of emotion I was? I built fences to conserve my heart from any danger and distress. I saw how people would talk about love and desire like they are the most wonderful yet difficult things to go through in life.. I never truly believed and understood until I attached my soul to you. I never truly believed until you unleashed the most conserved ***** in my body.. my heart. Your voice slowly climbed up my lungs and knocked on my hearts door, Your voice was so calming my heart had to open all its gates for you. I admire your energy and I admire your presence, live as long as you want in my heart, It;s your home and most certainly made for you.

In my very dark and blue days is when I turn to our finest memories, Don't take this wrong, your dominating every thought on my mind. I talk about you to every human being thats ever started a conversation to me. This isn't much but I can't seem to mend my words to your love and memory. I'm sorry I'm feeling too much, I don't know how to fix this.

Your voice calmed every urging vein in me today, tuesday 17th of November. Baby I dont think I love you anymore. I think its the matter of need in my life, in the matter of you in every single picture that I've been doing in my life. I dont even know what good I did in my life to have someone like you. Your morphine voice  cured  every pain within me.

People around me would always say " the best feeling in the world is when your loved one gazes right through your eyes and tells you things the mouth can't seem to do". I have waited a lifetime to find someone to share such action with. You came and you reminded me what it was like to feel protected. You came and looked me in the eye, you untangled all the chaos I've been through. It took years for this heart and body to go through destructions. Never knew one day and a couple of hours being spent can heal every chaos, every damage and every memory that ached me in the past. Your touch reminded me how the world is still paradisiac. Your touch overjoyed this cheerless heart of mine. I can finally add a new feeling of aliveness in my world, I can finally tell the world that a touch is stronger than a look. I can finally feel a glimpse of security, with the touch of your heavenly hands. Thank you for stitching up all the wounds, thank you for being the cure that my wounds were aching for.