If only the world had a corner for all these feelings to be thrown out. The suffering has crushed me down again and the thought of breathe seems hopeless. The only action that does not cross with my feelings to survive is now a burden to me too. I need reassurance and a little bit of effort, I am capable of understanding that nothing stops a person from getting what they want.. why can’t I get to you? And what is this determination of putting your ego and pride above me. If only you knew how the sunsets and sunrises come in action by the sound of your voice. I just hope that I’ll find my getaway from these trapped feelings that drain every optimism left in me. Im trapped and I am surely trapped in a cage of trouble.

You live in the back of my head. Your presence is never there but you have the ability to rise again into my life when I believed it is time to let go.
You are me and I am you, you have to come to conclusion that we are one soul in two bodies. In two different pains and in two different poetry’s.
Dear god help me lose the theory of you living in my soul, because it always goes back to you, the theory of you.

I found your soul tipping around my memory, your graceful voice and your warm touch too. Everything about you came leaning towards my sunlight..shadowing my comfort and rapturing my intentions. Nothing about you is understandable and that is why we admire everything we seem to never understand. You are the concept of the rainbow radiance after a gloomy rain shower, a reminder that faith and hope is still out there. I'd water you a thousand times with affection and consideration because you bloomed my passion and target in life. It is so easy for me to have a delicate compassion towards you cause your wings flew my way and arrowed me down, you pinned me down and I am more than happy to be shackled under your name. To have my memory run after your name is spoken aloud is a delightful dignity itself. I have come to you with all satisfaction and I will go on contented with the faith that has been written with you.

I have been awfully fed a spoon full of insecurities due to unsteady thoughts and feelings. I'm overwhelmed with a tender feeling I have towards you..But I wonder if the love I'm willing to give will make you as pleased as the memory of her. Will I have to worry if I stared through your eyes and read her name instead of mine? Or If you accidentally saw her in a crowd and dazed into your imagination and slowly slipped your fingers out of mine? excuse me while my deepest fears come dominating every inch of confidence I had or us. Deep down we both know its a one in a life time type of love that ******* me and it would never be me. It must be a curse for me to continuously fall for someone who has not completely let go of a memory or past. There is something so tragic and magnetic towards me that I have to face. What would it take me for you to believe that I am a free spirit and I can drive you crazy?I just long and pray that after all this.. your thoughts would never compare me to what you had and what you have, cause in my mind.. these thoughts are chasing me like a figure eight.

I died a thousand times when you looked my way with these words rippling down your adored lips saying "You see way too much good in people you forget there is ever any bad.. and that is what crushes you completely". I did not know how you were able to read me off so terribly, to see the side of me I chose not to speak. I guess I'm hopeless at concealing my weaknesses and I'm only praying that I'd be able to conceal what I see in you. I've been losing sanity lately and you do not come close to curing my foolishness with all these words that dress me with butterflies and flowers.

I’m finally writing this to say this is not about you anymore, this not about your memory, your glory, or silhouette. This is not about the way you made me feel grace in ways I never thought existed. This is not about the way you held me close and gave me promises that were burned out with your lovely lies. This is not about the way your eyes looked beyond this exterior of mine, and this is definitely not about the way you held me close to your heavenly arms and made shelter for me out of them. This is not about the way I see you in every little detail I come across in my life anymore. It is not about the way every song that caught me reminded me of how things used to be from our side, or your name appearing throughout these lines. You have to believe me when I say this is not about you, because I believe in everything you do. If you can believe in me, you can believe in these words that are persuading me that It’s not you.  Deep down we both know what this is about, and some things are better left unknown.

you put me through so much love, I would not bear the thought of you throwing me out in the open and forcing me to face and feel struggles I never requested for, but you eventually did. I recall a little phrase I once heard that goes with the amount of love you feel towards someone will be the amount of pain you will feel tomorrow and I cannot help but feel no guilt about any feeling I felt with you. The bliss in pain never felt so satisfying until you came across me in life. How is it that even when there is this blank in between us, thrill keeps filling the void and keeps dragging me back towards you. How is it that even when you show me your inferior flaws I still keep reminding you the story of when we first fell in love and how all these flaws are adventurous chapters to our novel. Even when you show me all your layers of twisted that’s within you.. I become so devoted to anything dim that suits the shade of gloom that layers you. You see, all that tenderness I sensed towards you never really faded away but and if only buts weren't existent in this case you did fling me to another side that was no where close to your presence, and you used my weakness of not being capable of leaving your side no matter what circumstances could do to us. You put me on a journey of mental state that not even myself could speak of. Although it hurts to turn back to pages of pain. I only learnt that the amount of suffer I felt was the amount affection I held, and I hope when you fall for the next you would so call Love of my life that would be the journey that I am writing you about.