there are dark times
so are there bright times
however it is,
it doesnt stop nature from growing

-hold up,
how could nature grow when
the human species are constantly defying it
all the hell **** time

destroying also-god-made innocent creatures
for their pleasures and selfish purposes

hurting our own kind like
they do not have a soul, and feelings
when we are all born with one

how can we grow in a world,
so blindly filled with violence
and callousness

is it so hard to
                                   feel????????

call me a peach
ask me why do i stay so far
know about me
don't end it so abruptly

only you can lift my mood
in a second and also
drop it in less than a second
how scary it can be
that you control my emotions
so easily

i want to know your flaws
and accept how you are
or what you've become

you come knocking on my inbox
only when the moon is up
and left it open and hanging without
a good bye or good night

what happened to the 'x's
that ended the talk

do you still wonder how my day was
or creep on my profile
or do you even think about me
like i think about you everyday
and awaits for littlest message

no worries,
im scared too

the bricks in my throat are piling up
one by one without consent
so quickly it reaches my mind
as if it happened in a snap of a finger
choking up my thoughts and emotions
disenabling me to express myself
to myself for myself

"if something happens.."
been said so many times
its embedded into my mind effortlessly

im fearing im panicking
i dont want to be thinking about it
i cant seem to stop

i fear when you walk out on me
i fear the day "if whatever happens..."
happens
i fear missing you
not breathing with you

i wonder how you are doing
what do you eat when you're not with me
what's been going on in your mind
what have you surrounded yourself with

how did your day go

what makes the side of your lip curl a little
what made your heart jump
what confuses you
what make you feel like burying your head in the pillows

the thing about
sharing your side of the story to people
is to let them know how you feel,
what you think but little did you know
you're influencing everyone else's
perception based on yours
which made it harder for them to
discover the other side that
they've yet to hear of

nobody listens if you try
your hardest to validate yourself

do i not believe in relationships
or am i just fearful