there are words that are better left unsaid
there are truths that are better told lies

you were in my head when i fell into sleep
you sat there beside me right in my dreams
i held your hands and laid on your lap

but what i mentioned was
"you stabbed me while i was running from something"
i cant let the truth out of my lips

you could be thinking different of me
for now, you thought i had a nightmare

that was my nightmare

having to understand
most thing isnt really
always a positive thing

when you understand,
you feel a deeper pain
you dont just feel for yourself
but for somebody else.
it could be someone
you've known for long
or not at all

to understand,
is to be affected willingly
to be involved in their minds

when they disintegrate
into fine ashes,
so do you

to understand
is to be a shadow
inevitably

you like the idea of me
of the way i smile and
how it conceals all else,
not the bad habits i've been
struggling to walk out from

you like the idea of a
different mind in a different body
because i ain't like the majority,
not the reasons why i lose my sanity
late at night just to stay alive

you like the idea of an
unchanged being for i can't ever be moved,
not how much i try to change myself
to a person so i could begin to love again
to feel like im worth more than something
indefinitely

you like the ideas in my head,
but don't bother to fathom out
whatever started it all.

but it's all fine anyways, right?

the bricks in my throat are piling up
one by one without consent
so quickly it reaches my mind
as if it happened in a snap of a finger
choking up my thoughts and emotions
disenabling me to express myself
to myself for myself

there are dark times
so are there bright times
however it is,
it doesnt stop nature from growing

-hold up,
how could nature grow when
the human species are constantly defying it
all the hell **** time

destroying also-god-made innocent creatures
for their pleasures and selfish purposes

hurting our own kind like
they do not have a soul, and feelings
when we are all born with one

how can we grow in a world,
so blindly filled with violence
and callousness

is it so hard to
                                   feel????????