I place my hand on your head
And I grow numb
I move myself along your body
You disappear
Gone before I can ever truly lose you

Can you feel it baby
As I hold you tonight
Can you feel everything I can’t say
Can you feel the pain in the strength of my embrace
Can you feel me slowly slipping away

Can you hear me baby
When I say you’re all I need
Can you hear my pleas from the miles you place between us
Can you hear echos of loneliness lying in your room
Waiting for you to come home

Do you even care baby
Your absence leaves me knotted up inside
Is it wonderful to come home to someone baby
Someone to keep your bed warm
To keep your dishes washed
Someone to slip into

I feel it baby
My loneliness made vocal
It doesn’t matter baby
That’s what you say
But not out loud of course.

I’ll try you say.
As if you haven’t tried before
As if you’re life has no other paths
Here I am
Paving roads for you
And all you do is come and go.

My love with you
a push a pull
A screaming loneliness
a whispering plea for solitude
A carnivorous hunger  
The prayer after a purge

Sitting here waiting for you to come home
Waiting.
Just like I said I wouldn’t.
How did I begin to make my life all about you
And who am I when you aren’t here.
Punctured
An empty shell
Once full of life
My own life
I think.

My friend
I remember you
You use to whisper to me.
I guess I’m writing because I miss the abuse
I miss your sharp jabs
The ones that kept me up at night.
You went away because I found someone
He’s kind and beautiful
And is never home on time
But you.
You were always there weren’t you?
Cruel and ugly
But Present.
You hurt me
And I didn’t hurt others
In your absence, my friend,
I have become cruel and ugly
Impatient and cold
I have your face now
I don’t recognize who looks back at me in the mirror
I guess I never really have.
This life my friend
My gift to you
Just please take the pain as well

Your hope lies in the past with familiar pieces
You rack your brain trying to make them fit again
Though proven wrong twice before.

I cannot return to my past
You are not there
And I neither for you
But if there lies your happiness
Then there you shall be
For I am your present
I am your future
But never shall I be your past

I know there’s a part of your life
That no matter how hard and far I try
I will never reach
Often times that’s easier to swallow than others