I know there’s a part of your life
That no matter how hard and far I try
I will never reach
Often times that’s easier to swallow than others

You’re in love with pieces of your past that don’t fit together anymore

I try to scavenge for answers in your words
But I come out hungrier
Thirsty for blood within your answers

You wake me up
Tell me you have to go
Disentangle.

I told you no.
I need you to stay
I lock on tighter

I try to find the strength to let you go
But I only discover a war to have you stay

Somehow I release

You ask me if I’m ok.
Tears begin rushing down my face.
I lie.
You have to know I lied.

I nod yes
You mutter have tos
composed of dollar signs
hopes of smiles and rainbows

You leave and I disappear
Shrunken into tears
Overcast skies
I told you no.

This isn’t my life
But it’s perfect for someone
He loves me
I love him
The Kids as well
This isn’t my life but I’d give it to you
As long as he didn’t have to feel anymore pain
As long as you were enough to make him not miss me.
I made him love me
When he told me he didn’t want to
It’s my fault
I made him fall
He’s perfect for someone
I want it to be me
I need it to be me

A **** life
And you’re included
But of course
That isn’t what he meant

His eyes glued to the tv screen
A chuckle
An occasional complimentary look
Every evening
But you’re not included

I want to kiss you
And when I am able to block out the noise that tells us the commercials ended
I want you to keep kissing me
I want you to get lost
Like I’m trying to do in you
But your glances elsewhere
Your repetitive comments of your exhaustion
Push me back
It’s only me
But I’m trying
**** I’m trying
I’m trying to sew myself to you
To plant myself inside you
Where no one else can
Touch us.
But you can touch us can’t you
You can touch me
And my touch is invisible.
Dissolved or whisped away
Im not quite sure.
There are other things in this world
The things that steal your gaze
That demand your presence.
Im right in front of you
Looked over
I drift further and further away.