things are getting hazy

thing are getting morbid

things are shaking and rolling

**HOW CAN THINGS GET MORE HAZY

the vile color of everything about you

adds to the torturous bile inside of me

shaking and quivering

i am full of things that make me beg to die

please please please go away

you said i am burning up and you are the only one so scared with another
you wanted on the inside   i have ever wanted girl,
to be and you are  to talk to that you don’t want
my friend the only one but i cant you to talk with me,
but here  i want to talk to because i am  that you are
that you lied or oh my god did not tell the whole so bad truth,
that you will stop  i miss you wanting to be 'get better’.
my friend so ******* much if i don’t i am hurting  but i cant tell you that.
and its not because of you i need you just want to be friends
but only because we don't talk  i am going to explode
and you don't seem to care at all   but i don't want to play games
and i need you in my life more than anybody.

awareness of each others different universes, awareness that each person understands their own everything and everything within everything and every person is on their own highway, feeling that there are others on their own highway but other than that knowing nothing because we cannot penetrate each others everythings

restless but doin okay

uneasy, ill at ease, restive, fidgety, edgy, on edge, tense, worked up, nervous, agitated, anxious, on tenterhooks, keyed up;

jumpy ,jittery, twitchy, uptight, antsy

sleepless, wakeful

fitful, broken, disturbed, troubled, unsettled

"a restless night"

offering no physical or emotional rest; involving constant activity or motion.

i mean lily, i mean really.

oh i know what it is.

Cigarettes and my shoes. Everything is foggy and bright. My vision has a fuzz on it. I cant think real things. I remember nothing. I know nothing. I am walking. Everything is deep dark. Theres no turning back. The timing never works out. Time yourself better. What is pacing yourself. You know. You got it. I cant breathe my chest is compressed. Compressed chest and knotted belly. Sick. Sick? Sick?? Sick?????? Are you sick. Have you figured it out yet. Have you let it blow through you. Have you felt the sand between your toes. Did it make you cry. Stars are crying. Andromeda. Black holes show everything’s helplessness. In all events, it all ends up the same. Do what you need. Do what you feel. Do the things to make you happy. Don’t **** up! Wait until the absolute last second, wait until it becomes unbearable, swings are dizzy, dizzy is dizzy, we are dizzy together, drifting on a brain of confusion through the milky way, brace for final impact, the airplane has crashed. Ready or not! Ready or not! Ready or not! Take your shirt off Wanna see something cool Here is the ultimate heavyweight champion Here is the god who will save you Why hasn’t the chill pervaded! 4:56am Please leave me alone Please shut up Hey no one knows anything, I know less than nothing, who are you supposed to be, who are you trying to be, are you trying, are you trying? Are you trying?????? Leaf leafs leave leaves, giant wooden tables, the only songbird in the world belongs to, time is warping EVERYTHING, grass isn’t growing anymore, skin isn’t shedding, guts aren’t processing, do you cut any corners on your self care routine? What are your hobbies can you sing can you paint can you thread can you play can you can you can you can you can you