You feel the world around you
Put a target on your back
Your brain aligns a bullseye
From the confidence you lack
So you arm yourself with self defense
Prepared for chaos and war
Death be ******, it's a suicide mission
Your pride must settle the score

Your camouflage is obvious
Your colors glow in sight
The same colors that dim for day
And glow to haunt your night
The shade in which you're blushing
Turns from red to pale white
You mistake me for being unarmed
Unprepared for such a fight

I'm cloaked in self-assurance
While your shots land at my chest
I turn around and shake my head
And leave you alone just like the rest
So as you stand there with the shells
Of the bullets that you fired
At least next time you load your gun
Your shots will be inspired

In order to be greater,
I must become less,
Of this incoherent, non-adherent,
Hopeless little mess.

I'll find something to believe in,
Or someone I can trust.
Because peace of mind, to help unwind
From an existence that's unjust.

I'll throw my hat into the ring,
And put my feet upon the floor.
At the end of the day, despite what they say,
Someone will always keep score.

So here's to giving it my best,
And leaving nothing to regret.
It's all on the line, to give what is mine.
And hope it's all worth the bet.

I'm looking for a reason,
A reason to the question why?
But everything in this current season,
Amounts to one humongous lie.

The people that I know,
The so-called "friends" I've made.
Are nothing but pure show,
As I live in their eternal shade.

Maybe I'm not understanding,
Maybe I need something to change.
But as I brace for a crash landing,
None of them are in range.

So here I am, as always alone.
Because my value to them is slim.
I live alone in this isolated zone.
With my outlook extremely grim.

The lines are drawn across the sand,
The soldiers are forming rank.
Arm the troops and strike the band,
On all sides the squad will flank.

The target is a haughty one,
On a tower at the peak of the hill.
A mirage the glimmers in the sun,
All driven simply for the thrill.

The fools rush in like always,
Shot down to set the pace.
Their failures fill up the displays,
Their solemn looks on a sunken face.

The battle plan to capture the flag,
Works best in a tandem pair.
One takes the lead, the other will sag,
The substance to back up the flair.

And as the war comes to a end,
Darkness changes into light.
The losers plug their wounds to mend,
For there's always Friday night...

Look at the world that I create,
Where everyone plays a part.
A center in which all feelings relate,
But unable to be chained to our heart.

I can play God in this world I've made,
But I can't control how they act.
All I know is in time the characters fade,
A narrator too tongue-tied to react.

The audience buckles as the scene unfolds,
Gripped tightly as it all plays out.
The star delivers for us all to behold,
And tie in what the show's all about.

With the best stories being based on truth,
I guess mine will continue to twist.
And if you're still reading then there is the proof,
This story is one you just can't resist.

Social obligation, feeling brave.
We flock like herds of sheep.
Awkward conversations, an optimist's grave,
Another night to struggle to sleep.

We gather like rats at a hole in the wall,
Drawn in by the droning of the beat.
I question why we can't resist the call,
When it's failure we are doomed to repeat.

Smile and pretend, laugh at the hollow pit inside,
Fill your soul with whiskey disguised as hope.
But on the floor, there's nowhere to hide.
So you take another drink and hope.

And when the lights come on at the end of the night,
You look more lost than ever before.
Because deep down you know you're right.
And that everyone inside is empty at their core.

I stare in the mirror and reflect,
Can't believe this face is my own.
Hypocracies align and intersect,
Muddling everything I've known.
I say I want to be a friend,
Someone who will truly care.
My words I claim until my end,
The badge I choose to wear.

Criticize the acts you do,
The venom drips from my tongue.
Every wrong of yours I knew,
Out in public they are hung.
And I'm not any better,
In fact I'm ******* worse.
Your flaws drive my petty letters,
These jagged lines I write in verse.

And I'm no little choir boy,
My mistakes I'll take to my grave.
But my flaws don't inspire your joy,
Maybe it's my soul I need to save.
But this is not to garner pity,
This is for me to say I'm wrong.
Our paths will cross in this jaded city,
And I want us to still get along.

No more judgment, no more scolding,
I'm moving on from being that guy.
My goal is to be always emboldening,
And let the pilot be the one to fly.
Your potential for greatness is evident,
It's the reason I haven't jumped ship.
But it's time to repay the time I spent,
Firing shots until I emptied my clip.

So this is my apology,
My intentions strayed from being true.
Our stars not aligned in astrology,
But I'll make it up to you.
Take from this what you may,
Do with it what you please.
I've run out of negativity to say,
I just want us to be at ease.

“They’re never gonna love you till you can love yourself.”
The echoes of their words knock the feelings off the shelf.
Shattered feelings recover, but the bond is not the same.
The cracks in the soul will only weaken in blame.

“Your pain doesn’t excuse the damage you’ve done.”
Remorse doesn’t fix the holes made with the gun.
The dead stay dead, you don’t get to blame them now.
Because healing doesn’t start with when, but how.

“You aren’t responsible with making all things right.”
You’ll drive yourself mad in the wars that you fight.
The world will go on, even after you’re dead.
So find yourself at peace with the demons in your head.

The sun will still rise, even if your horizon is bleak.
You’ve experienced the valleys, it’s time to climb the peak.
Plant your flag in the base, and shout from the sky.
“Today I live for me, and that is the banner I fly.”

I’m sitting in a corner,
She stares at me, and I should warn her.
But she doesn’t need the guidance,
It’s not history, this is science.
And her name carries some fame,
She’s not receptive to the game,
She wears her feelings on her sleeves,
Away from her heart she believes.
Cause her strength is in her mind
It’s where her planets are aligned
In this galaxy of truth,
She blinks and stars become the proof
That there is something more to see
And something more we all could be
If we just follow right beside her
A cosmic planetary collider

So I take paper and pen
And ask if not now then truly when?
Because I’m waiting for the sign
When both our planets will align
And if that star is in the distance
I’ll keep on flying with persistence
Because I know that if I’m stronger
It won’t take very much longer.

This will be so hard to write,
Haven't given time in a minute.
But I'm being brought into the light,
And it's about time I admit it.

I've realized my place in the crowd,
The blurry picture comes into focus.
I think my personality's too loud
That's why I'm prescribed in small doses.

Or maybe just the times have changed,
And I've been left in the past.
My friendships have now become outranged
Despite those claims that they'd last.

I shouldn't be the one to cry,
I applaud those who gain success.
But it comes at watching relationships die,
And myself being labeled excess.

So I'll sit and wait to see what comes,
And hope that I'll still remain.
Otherwise I'll sit and twiddle my thumbs,
Because with me there's nothing to gain.

You want to capture all the pain,
But you don’t know how to feel.
Your misery is the world’s gain,
A story too grim to be real.

The camera shutters, the pictures flash,
The image fits the frame.
Behind the lens your feelings clash
The model knows not the game.

You sketch your paranoia until the pen runs out of ink.
And if the canvas fills up then you’re stuck there left to think.
Is your portrait missing color, is the shading cast to show?
Does the pain that you keep hiding have too much space to grow?

The vibrations from the strings you pluck
Match the heartbeat that is low
It’s just a matter of time or luck,
They’ll finally hear the show.

The outlet doesn’t matter if results remain the same.
The audience will always think that it’s all just a game.
So dance and sing, click and sketch, do it all you must.
Because someone will always find it, that much your heart must trust.

Who you want to be for them,
Is who you need to be for yourself.
Extend your branch, they snap your stems,
And you're left alone in dying health.

You gave out all your survival kits,
Left alone in your sinking ship.
But if you just realized who didn't fit,
You'd have survived that maiden trip.

Stop dying for other people's sins,
The man with the beard did that first.
You aren't allowed to claim their wins,
And your denial just makes it the worst.

If you want the world you think they owe,
Then go and actually make it your own.
Because we all reap what we will sow,
And your bounty can't fit in just one zone.

Your misery and pain feel like an addiction,
Serene but so sullen; a moral confliction.
Their cries of support ring hollow contradiction,
From safe distance they echo, a hallow affliction.

Burn in the light, your rage fuels the reason.
Self pity and sacrifice are always in season.
Your put up the wall, but still cry out treason.
You let logic flee, allowing doubt to ease in.

Your soul can't be saved, it's time to replace.
The feeling of hope, the departure of grace.
In walks resentment to help fill the space,
A devil of a temptress in satin and lace.

So embrace this demon, it rose from your ashes.
Reckless in nature, who knows where it crashes.
Get dragged along while your monster thrashes.
But know this in truth, you've always shown flashes...

Her song is like a siren’s call that leads me to my death.
The same old tricks that make me fall will take my final breath.
The stench of death comes off her clothes but still it smells so sweet.
From highest highs to lowest lows, it’s the fate I’m doomed to meet.

She’ll offer you forbidden fruit while knowing what it holds.
You’re dignity now hers to loot, your soul bending while it folds.
But just one flash of that perfect smile, you believe it every time.
You know she’s guilty all the while, yet you help commit the crime.

You say you’re tired of the game, you always know the score.
And if the rules remain the same, why keep coming back for more?
Because denial is your only friend, and you know it to be true.
So watch her wait until the end, then get ready for round 2.

Step right up, it's the main event!
Look at the fool that we have to present!
You'll feel like the victim, but you'll always consent!
Because you're fooled by lust, and you'll never relent.

Am I just the puppet being pulled by your string?
Do you speed up the tempo but force me to sing?
I suppose we are all clowns in your circus ring,
But it's for your validation that I so desperately cling.

A voluntary isolation sentence
A cocoon of doubt to sew
Serving what I thought was penance
A pain from down below

Surrounded by the echo
It's words I can't ignore
All hope lost from the get go
The ending to settle the score

Repaying a debt of borrowed time
The tax for past discretions
An orphan to such a fatherless crime
I'm repeating these failed lessons

It's only now I can finally see
How sins of the past reflect upon me