In order to be greater,
I must become less,
Of this incoherent, non-adherent,
Hopeless little mess.

I'll find something to believe in,
Or someone I can trust.
Because peace of mind, to help unwind
From an existence that's unjust.

I'll throw my hat into the ring,
And put my feet upon the floor.
At the end of the day, despite what they say,
Someone will always keep score.

So here's to giving it my best,
And leaving nothing to regret.
It's all on the line, to give what is mine.
And hope it's all worth the bet.

I mistook myself for someone who mattered,
Instead of the guy whose emotions are tattered,
Scattered, splattered, and laying on the floor,
The result of my failures from the night before.

I mistook myself for someone who cared,
Whose heart I prayed you would have spared,
Impaired and repaired, propped up again.
Not asking if, but sadly when.

I mistook myself for being your friend,
An emotional shoulder that I could lend.
My time you would spend, with nothing to show.
And now I'm left with nowhere to go.

I mistook myself one too many times.
And paid the price for your awful crimes.
Your words echo like chimes, like bells in the air.
But I know the truth, that you never would care.

Doubt, fear, hollow remorse.
Afraid that nature has went off course.
Unable to locate the primary source.
Of where my feelings brood.

I blame the others for lack of concern.
My passion and dreams just crackle and burn.
Their intimacy and trust I'll never earn.
For I'm simply just some dude.

To appeal to none, to exist in space.
The deafening echo from the look on their face.
A puppet for amusement, if that's the case.
Then time for a change of attitude.

If I'm alone, it's honestly fine.
Because it's nobody's fault but mine.
Wondering why is crossing the line.
And I wouldn't want to be rude.

If I care too much, then so it be.
I'll learn to exist solely for me.
But until my tense can change to we.
My life is one big interlude.

Constantly in pursuit,
Evil at it's root,
Others follow suit,
Because E Pluribus Unum

Blinded by the signs,
Polluted in their minds,
Stacked up in their binds
To gloat for what they've done.

The chase for evermore,
Terrified of being poor,
Striving for the highest score,
Without having any fun.

Consumed by absolute greed,
Green is the color they bleed,
It's all they want, crave, and need.
In their death, it's the smoking gun...

What are your demons that keep you awake?
The smile on your face that you grimly fake.
The howling call of 3 AM will beckon.
Claiming your sanity, despite what you reckon.

Do your demons lie in the reflection of the mirror?
The consumation of your trials and fear.
That no matter the reason, it's clear in your eyes.
That the mirror will only conjure your lies.

Perhaps your demons dwell inside of your head.
Emerging as thoughts as you lie in bed.
Despite your reassurance, it's easy to see.
Your ego can't accept what you turned out to be.

So lie to yourself, keep saying you're fine.
And keep walking your carefully scripted line.
But the demons know all, and will tear you apart.
Because yours reside in the center of your heart.

People are fickle, people are strange.
Only pretend to care until you're out of range.
Use you to prop themselves up again.
Toss you aside completely after then.

They'll never say it, but it's inherently true.
They just never really cared about you.
Concealed among silence and a phony smile.
Pretending to be your friend all the while.

You change your mind like the color of your hair.
How easy it is to pretend that you care.
But have some decency and say it to my face.
And end this facade with some dying grace.

When I was young, what I feared the most,
Were the monsters under my bed.
But when I grew up, I began to host,
Those monsters in my head.

As time went on, I began to find
Those monsters became my friends.
Battles ensued inside my mind
Just simple means to the ends.

Fear, doubt, and self loathing reigned,
As the three wise men inside.
Under their control, my confidence waned
And forced self respect to hide.

These monsters continue to reign supreme.
And refuse to let me be sane.
The answer differs from nightmare to dream,
Victory, or a bullet to the brain.